All CATEGORIES
☰ Menu
All Da King's Men

Gimme Shelter

By Da King Published: February 22, 2008

buy one get one free

Maybe it was all those Obama-Clinton-Edwards-Kucinich-whatstheirnames Democratic debates. Maybe it was listening to our messiah Obama at Youngstown State University the other day. Maybe it was Michelle Obama, a Harvard and Yale graduate who has benefited so greatly from what this country has to offer, saying that Barack's success provided her with the first occasion in her adult lifetime to be proud of her country. Maybe it was reading the

National Enquirer New York Times for so many years.

Or maybe I just got a bad burrito from Taco Bell last night.

Whatever it was, I've had an epiphany. I've had a

breakdown breakthrough.

I've listened to so many

liberals progressives for so long that they've finally convinced me - america is a very, very bad place, run by a very, very bad man, George W. Bush. This man Bush is responsible for all the evil in america, and about 90% of the evil in the whole world. I'm not kidding. The wise woman Hillary kept saying so during last night's Democratic debate, and she seems very honest and concerned, so she must be telling the truth. It also seems that america was a very GOOD place before this evil Bush fellow took over, a regular garden of Eden, but alas, that's all over now. Bush has taken health care away from the people, for example (although the wise woman was trying to fix health care back in 1992-93, so I don't know how that could really be accura...oops, there I go, questioning the wise woman again. My deepest apologies. I'm new at being an unquestioning liberal progressive).

The best we can hope for is that the messiah or the wise woman will lead us out of the darkness, away from this evil place where we have to work for our food, shelter, clothing, and other needs - where we work like slaves, usually 40 hours per week, and then other people make more money than we do. It is so wrong, isn't it ? The hell with those other people. The messiah and the wise woman are going to bring us together as a country, and unite us against those other people.

They call this evil, degrading thing Capitalism. I spit on thee, Capitalism, just like Hugo Chavez, the messiah, and the wise woman do. Ditto for that whole Freedom concept. Who needs it ? It's just a word used to distract the morons. We are 'free' to do this, 'free' to do that. Good riddance. Gimme shelter instead (free, of course). Like Janis Joplin said, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose". She was another wise woman, that Miss Joplin, at least until she overdosed on heroin and died so young. Did Capitalism help her ? Did freedom help her ? Heck no. See what I'm saying ? No justice, no peace.

The way out of this massive injustice where some people have more money than others is to take the money away from those who have it, and give the money to those who don't, you know, like Jesus would do, like Robin Hood did, like Mao Tse Tung's Cultural Revolution did, and like the Russian Revolution did. That's the only fair way. We can't have people running around making more money than others, prospering, accomplishing things, starting businesses, getting good grades in school, etc, when others can't. That is unfair. I mean, how are we ever going to build a strong and prosperous society that way ? Duh-uh. You can count on the messiah and the wise woman to do their best to make everything even and fair, and they will accomplish it by gaining control of our government and making our government good once more, instead of evil like it is now. That is such a wonderful plan, because everyone knows that if government takes power over everything, and the messiah or the wise woman are in control, they would use that total government power for the welfare of the

peons people. Well, at least they would for four years, until the next election. Then we'd get someone else running the government with total power. Hmmm. What if that next person weren't so good ? Ah, no matter, what could possibly go wrong there ? I'm probably just being paranoid. Like I said, I'm not used to being braindead liberal progressive.

We're going to need a word to describe this new type of government, the one with total power to do good. Let's see...How about 'TOTAL-ITARIANISM' ? Yeah, cool. Sounds good. Let's go with it.

Under Total-itarianism, it will be so great when I no longer have to worry about food, shelter, clothing, health care, credit cards, mortgages, high gas prices, and stuff. Man, I can hardly wait. In fact, since all my needs will be taken care of, I'll just retire and live the good life. Forget all that work stuff. Who needs that ? It would interfere with my new lifestyle. I'm definitely voting for the messiah or the wise woman.

Only when such happy days arrive will we finally fulfill the words of the U.S. Constitution, which says, "from each according to his ability, to each according to his need".

I don't know about that ability stuff, but boy, I sure have lots of needs. Like, I need to go to Las Vegas at least twice per year, and I need a good stereo system, a wide-screen digital tv, and maybe one of those sleep-number beds......

This is definitely going to rock ! Vote for Obama. Or Hillary. It really doesn't matter. I don't know why they even bothered to have that so-called debate. They agree about everything, like good

panderers liberals progressives do. Let's just appoint one Czar and let the good times roll.
Print
Add This

SUBSCRIBE VIA RSS

OHIO.COM VIDEOS

About This Blog