You are supposed to feel guilty today, you know. We all want to celebrate Thanksgiving, because most of us realize we have a lot to be thankful for, but protesters remind us that the original Thanksgiving wasn't followed up by many more good times for the Indians, I mean, Native Americans, while other protesters tell us that killing turkeys isn't such a good thing either. So humanocentric. Maybe we should listen to PETA and eat some tofurkey instead, whatever that is. Plus, eating all that food will make us fat and lead to health problems, overburdening our health care system and causing us to miss work, decreasing productivity.
And what are all you men doing sitting on the couch watching football while the women do all the work, you sexist pigs ?
After today, the Christmas shopping season kicks into full gear, with all our american decadent consumerism on full display. Oh, wait a minute, am I still allowed to say 'Christmas', or is that a bad word now ? Do I have to say 'the holiday shopping season' instead ? Lord knows, I mean, gosh knows, I want to be politically correct. Let me phone the ACLU to check on this year's protocol. I'll remember to press '1' for english.
Forget all that, and have a great day with your loved ones. Thank God for your blessings, and say a prayer for our troops while you're at it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. We are truly fortunate to live in this country and in this time.
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