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All Da King's Men

Hey, Did You Know Mitt Romney's A Mormon ?

By Da King Published: November 19, 2007


Of course you did. How could you not ? The mainstream media won't let you forget it. They can barely mention Mitt's name without telling you about his weird Mormon religion. They are such wonderful journalists, aren't they ? Top notch professionals (as in 'the world's oldest profession'). Lord knows, we don't want any icky Mormons as president of the United States (the unspoken reason for the constant mention of Mitt's Mormon-osity). He'd probably appoint the entire Osmond family to his cabinet. You know how those Mormons stick together. All that singing would be so-o-o distracting. Plus, Mitt's a Republican. From Massachusetts, no less, a state which everyone knows is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Kennedys. So, who does this Romney character think he is, moving in on Kennedy turf like that ? This has to be one weird bird, this guy. One uppity Mormon. What else could we possibly need to know about him ? I mean, really. Oh yeah ! Romney also changed his position on the totally non-controversial issue of abortion (now he's one of those wack jobs who thinks we SHOULDN'T kill babies), so you know he's no darned good. Let's send him back to Utah where he belongs, along with his six wives, or however many he has. The White House is for Christian Christians, not Mormon Christians.

But then again, maybe I shouldn't be so hasty. To quote Saint Hillary The Pure-Hearted (snicker), maybe I shouldn't sling mud. Maybe I shouldn't engage in the politics of personal destruction (that's only for Clintons). Gosh, Hillary makes me want to be a better man.....well, better than her husband, anyway, which shouldn't be much of a challenge. All I have to do is NOT sexually assault the next woman I encounter. Done ! But who am I kidding ? If Hillary could push Romney off a cliff and get away with it, Romney would be laying on the rocks below. In spite of that, I'll give Romney a closer look, since I've become a better man than I was when I wrote that last paragraph three minutes ago.

First of all, you'll notice from the photograph that Mitt Romney has those Hollywood presidential good looks. If he does become president, he could play himself in the movies. He's also wearing a nice suit and standing in front of an american flag, so he's patriotic. I know this stuff seems silly, but I'm trying to think the way our media thinks for a minute. 'If only we could lose the Republican thing and the Mormon thing, Mittsy'.........oh well. I guess the left coast celebutante vote is out. Romney will just have to get by without Barbra Streisand's endorsement. Life is tough.

When you start reading Mitt Romney's resume, you start to understand why the liberal stink media talks incessantly about the Mormon thing and the abortion thing. I've also heard some conservatives are spreading anti-Mormon spew in Iowa. Shame on you. They do it because Mitt Romney's resume is very impressive. He's been quite the whiz kid, with a record of success everywhere he's gone. The media loves to talk about Hillary's vast experience, but seriously, the woman hasn't done jack squat compared to Mitt Romney. Ditto when you compare Obama or Edwards to Romney. Jack squat. They are posers. Those two probably couldn't even get hired to work for one of Mitt Romney's companies. When Romney says Hillary hasn't run anything before, he knows what he's talking about, because Mitt has lots of experience running things, and running them well. None of the three leading Democrat presidential contenders has ever run a large organization. NONE OF THEM, and they think we should appoint them to the top job in the land. No thank you. Romney has been a CEO and a governor. THAT is running things. He started his own company, which became wildly profitable. He has turned several organizations from losing propositions into profitable ones, including Bain and Company, the Olympic Winter Games, and the State Of Massachusetts. In Taxachusetts, Romney turned a huge deficit into a surplus, cut spending, and cut taxes, yet he gets criticized for closing some tax loopholes and raising a few state fees, including a 2 cent raise in the gasoline tax. Unbelievable. If we want someone who can turn these perpetual federal deficits and astronomical debt around, we can't find one person better qualified for that job than Mitt Romney, because there isn't one. Romney has a proven track record of accomplishment. And for all you universal health care advocates (although I'm not one of you), Romney was also the first one who accomplished that. It wasn't Hillary talking about it, not Edwards talking about it. It was Mitt Romney doing it. He did it in Massachusetts. Yeah, a mean old Republican was the first to do it. In fact, the second to do it was another mean old Republican, Ahnold in Cali. Wake up and smell the coffee folks. Get off the Democratic plantation. George W. Bush isn't running in 2008, so you won't be voting for or against him. Mitt Romney IS running, and he's very worthy of your vote, once you put all the nonsense aside and look at the facts, which the media will make every effort to keep hidden from your eyes. I bet you didn't even know Mitt Romney's real first name is Willard. Vote for him in spite of that moniker. Besides, Willard was that weird guy who liked rats in that old movie, and for those of you who know me, you know I like rats too, so Romney is just the guy for this old rubber city rat.

For the record, Mitt Romney married his high school sweetheart and has been married to her for 39 years. He has ONE wife, and five sons. He doesn't cheat on her and they waited until marriage to have sex. There are no scandals I know of in Romney's past or present. In other words, he's the anti-Clinton. Sounds good.

Mitt Romney for president website.

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