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All Da King's Men

I Got The Bailout Blues

By Da King Published: September 20, 2008


Hey America, how do you like your brand new insurance company, AIG ? We bought an 80% stake in that company for the bargain price of $85 billion. How about your nifty new mortgage companies, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac ? They've been nationalized. They belong to all of us now. Who knew this was what Bush was talking about when he advocated an "ownership society" ? Bailing out the financial industry might end up costing us a a trillion or two, but no worries, it's only money. YOUR money, make no mistake about that, but what's a few trillion among friends ?

And from the looks of things, We The People are about to own a whole bunch more neato stuff too. Our fearless future leaders are both committed to bailing out the auto industry. Democrat Barack Obama has committed to providing up to $50 billion in loans to the automakers. And now the Republican candidate, John McCain, has gotten in on the action too. McCain reversed his previous position against loans to automakers while touring a GM plant in Grand Rapids, Michigan:

"I'm here to send a message to Washington and Wall Street: We are not going to leave the workers here in Michigan hung out to dry while we give billions in taxpayer dollars to Wall Street," McCain said. "It is time to get our auto industry back on its feet. It's time for a new generation of cars and for loans to build the facilities that will make them."

Yeah ! We'll show those sob's over on Wall Street ! We'll give taxpayer money away to everyone !!! That'll teach 'em ! Excuse me, readers, I have to go puke. I'll be right back.......

Associated Press reports that $25 billion in loans to automakers may whiz through Congress before the november elections, buoyed by the support of Barack Obama and John McCan (how do you like bipartisanship now ?).

Yeah, what the heck, as long as our leaders have abandoned all pretense of fiscal sanity, why not ? Bring on financial Armaggedon. Every day is Halloween, and we're using taxpayer money for candy. Ooh, look at JohnnyMac, all dressed up like a conservative, here's a big bag of taxpayer money for you. And Barry, you look so cute in your JFK suit, here's another bag of money for you.

$!*&##**! and !*&@**$$!

Somebody please tell me this is all a bad dream. This ship of fools is driving us right off the edge of the world.

I've been watching the notion of fiscal conservatism (responsibility) die a slow death for a long time now, but I have to admit, I never expected the death knell to sound with a Republican occupying the White House.

I know I probably shouldn't be a stickler about the United States Constitution, since we don't use it anymore, but are ANY of these bailouts Constitutional ?

Ah, never mind. Who cares ? It's a Brave New World, the previous rules no longer apply. I can hardly wait for the coming veto-proof Democratic majority, you know, the ones who REALLY like to spend taxpayer money. We are freaking doomed.

Are we really going to stand by and let all this happen ? Are we going to allow our government to endlessly nationalize industries and socialize business losses at taxpayer expense ? That is an incredible moral wrong, but it sure looks like we're going to let them do exactly that. I don't see anybody marching on Washington D.C. What's it gonna take, folks ? They are literally stealing the money right out of your pockets, and you don't seem to care.

And Joe Biden, saying tax increases are freaking "patriotic" ??? *$$!&%# you, Joe.

Thanks for listening to this rant. Maybe my sense of optimism will return tomorrow, but right now, I need a damn drink.

Update 9/21/08: Now for the coup de grace. Bush has announced a $700 billion mortgage bailout. And Democrats are saying Bush didn't go far enough, if you can believe that. The nightmare continues.



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