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All Da King's Men

Laugh Lines, Stage Left

By Da King Published: December 5, 2007


“We [Democrats] are the party of real national security. We are the party of real economic opportunity and a brighter future for our children.” —House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in between attempts at losing the Iraq war. Right, Nancy...Bill Clinton did propose that explosive taggants thingy.

"We will not raise taxes" - Chris Van Hollen, Chairman of the Democratic Congressional Caucus, on Fox News Sunday with co-panelist Karl Rove. Rove burst into laughter at Van Hollen's statement, since Chris Wallace had just pointed out that Democrats want to let the Bush tax cuts expire ($1 trillion tax increase) and have proposed other tax increases, such as the Charlie Rangel plan, in addition to all of modern recorded history pointing to the fact that DEMOCRATS ALWAYS RAISE TAXES.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it: “The surge hasn’t accomplished its goals... We’re involved, still, in an intractable civil war.” — Sen. Harry Reid, illustrating his 'always say die' attitude.

“It’s Republicans in Congress, not Democrats, blocking funding for our troops while promoting a failed strategy in Iraq.” —DNC chief Howard Dean, in a truly feeble attempt at spin. He makes me want to scream. I don't think Howie could even get the NY Times to buy into this one.

“So you decide which makes more sense: Entrust our country to someone who is ready on day one... or to put America in the hands of someone with little national or international experience, who started running for president the day he arrived in the U.S. Senate.” —Hillary on Obama, but actually describing herself to a tee.

Better late than never ? “I think the ‘surge’ is working" - John Murtha. Will you please tell Harry Reid, Mr. Murtha ? Harry is WAAAY behind the curve on this.

“This is a fight that includes every American. Those who are here undocumented, we’re not going to make criminals out of them. That is not what America has ever stood for and will not stand for" - Chicago mayor Richard Daley, who apparently is unaware that those "undocumented" immigrants MAKE CRIMINALS OF THEMSELVES when they enter this country illegally.

In response to the debate question, 'What is your favorite Bible verse ?', pseudo-representative and eternal presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich said, “Prayer from St. Francis, which says, ‘Lord make me an instrument of your peace.’ ” The only problem is that St. Francis lived in the 13th century, long after the Bible was written, and the Prayer attributed to him can't be traced back any further than the early 20th century. Needless to say, the Prayer from St. Francis doesn't appear in the Bible.

"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good" - Hillary Clinton. Gee, thanks Hillary. If you take enough, I'm sure I'll need those government programs you're promising.

Then there's this chestnut: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." - Joe Biden on Barack Obama. Where's a big hole to crawl into when you need it, right Joe ? Good thing Biden's not a Republican, or he probably would have had to resign. Instead, he thinks he's running for president. Man, it's good to be a Democrat in this country. I mean, look at the "rockstar" of the Democratic party. He's a sexual predator, and they still love him. No standards, no morals, no matter.



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