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All Da King's Men

Obama To The Rescue

By Da King Published: October 30, 2008

"Bitter partisan fights and outworn ideas of the left and the right won't solve the problems we face today, but a new spirit of unity and shared responsibility will" - Barack 'The One' Obama

Wow. That's inspiring stuff. Do you feel the tingle ? I know I do. At least I think it's a tingle. It could just be acid reflux. I'm not sure, but I'm ready to cast aside all my fears, doubts, and independent thought processes, because this election is historic, the most important election in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND, the most important election held in the known universe, ever. We must discard those "outworn ideas of the left and right" (and instead embrace only the outworn ideas of the left), because the only way we can achieve "unity" is to stop arguing over petty matters, such as the role of the federal government, federal taxation and spending, the economy, the U.S. Constitution, and so forth. Those things are not really important. What IS important is to blindly follow our "better angels", as embodied by Barack Obama, the new Messiah. How else can he deliver us from this mean, third world hellhole we call the United States of America ? How else will we ever take our place among the righteous nations of the earth, like Venezuela ? The old ways, the ways designed by our Founding Fathers, clearly do not work. Yes, those frayed and threadbare concepts promoted by the likes of Thomas Jefferson, James Madision, and George Washington may have resulted in America becoming the world's pre-eminent superpower, the world's beacon of liberty, hope, and opportunity, and the creation of 30% of the world's wealth by only 5% of it's people, but c'mon folks, life is not a totally carefree utopian paradise here, there are still problems, so we need drastic CHANGE, a change that only a Messiah who promises to "change the world" (not kidding, The Big O really said that) can bring.

"We've got to transform the political culture, so it's responsive to you, not to the special interests, not to the fat cats, not to the lobbyists" - Barack Hussein Obama

Tell it, Barack ! Tell it ! And of course, the way to get rid of the special interests and lobbyists is to create an ever larger federal government bureaucratic monster that micromanages all essential aspects of our society (the "progressive" way), so every special interest and lobbyist in the country is forced to fight like a starving dog over the scraps being doled out from an all-powerful federal government that picks the winners and the losers. Ask National City Bank (NCB) about that. When our Congressional overlords handed Treasury $700 billion of taxpayer money to bail out the financial industry, our government designated NCB and northeast Ohio the LOSERS, and PNC Bank from Pittsburgh the WINNERS. PNC got bailout money and NCB didn't. PNC bought NCB with the bailout money, and now thousands of northeast Ohio jobs are gone like the wind. Lots of those newly jobless NCB people are my friends. Thanks goodness they can rest easy knowing they'll get that Obama tax cut for the middle class. I'm sure they are grateful.

Thinking you can reduce the influence of lobbyists and special interests with more and more centralized government is one of the most braindead ideas I've ever heard. The truth is precisely the opposite. You minimize the influence of special interests and lobbyists by NOT letting the government pick all the winners and losers. You minimize the influence of special interests and lobbyists by limiting government and promoting individual liberty, which our old Founding Fathers figured out over 220 years ago, dummies that they were.

Oops, I apologize folks. There I go, thinking again, when I should be FOLLOWING the One, for the sake of, you know, "unity", "post-partisanship", and that "shared responsibility" thing. I'll have to work on that. It's going to take a LOT of work, so I may have another slip or two before I learn to obey my new massuh, like a good boy should.

"It is the essential belief that I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper, that makes this system work" - Barack Obama

Amen ! To test the validity of this idea, go find one of your neighbors who has more than you do, and demand half his hard-earned money. You'll quickly find out how people REALLY respond to the forcible "redistribution" of their wealth. I suggest you pack some heat to facilitate your neighbor's desire to be his "brother's keeper", or you probably won't get his money. A mask might help too. It's no different at all when the government forces that same redistribution, and that's what the Messiah is proposing, all in the name of "fairness", of course.

But don't get me wrong, I love it ! It's "transformative", just like the Messiah says.

For those of you lucky enough to have a certain satellite television network, you can watch The Obama Channel, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week (I'm not kidding about this either). You didn't have to wait for the Messiah's primetime Hollywood television special last night. You can get all the knowledge you need right from the Obama source, even though you pretty much get that anyway from almost every television station and newspaper in existence. I have the Obama Channel on in the background right now. It's all the Big Brother anyone really needs. Quite convenient. For instance, the Obama Channel just informed me that Obama had both parents and grandparents, and they worked at various jobs during their lives, right here in America ! His grandfather even served in World War II, and Obama also has relatives who resided in the Kansas heartland (and we all know how liberals revere Kansans). What more do you need to know, people ? Barack Obama is a regular American, just like you, just like me, and just like Barry's pals, the terrorist William Ayers, the terrorist Bernardine Dohrn, the racist anti-semitic, anti-american Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the radical Father Pleger, the mobster Tony Rezko, and former PLO spokesman Rashid Khalidi. There's nothing to see here. We are the ones we've been waiting for. The only other thing we need is the Fairness Doctrine to shut up all Obama's talk radio opposition, and the Employee Free Choice Act to remove the secret ballot in union voting. Then we'll all be free and "united", just like the Soviet Union was. The new worker's paradise could be just around the corner, and the inconvenience of the dissenting voice will be effectively muzzled. Oh, the glory !

As evidence of Obama's "transformative" agenda and his "new politics", just look at how he ran his most excellent political campaign. He

lied about opted out of taking public campaign financing, while still saying he believes in it (taking both sides of an issue at the same time is one of Obama's special oratorical gifts. A mere mortal politician couldn't get away with that time after time, but the Messiah pulls it off effortlessly), and he has spent the most money in the history of American politics trying to get elected, almost doubling the previous campaign spending record held by George W. Bush in 2004. Obama has the entire American media serving as sycophantic shills for him as he does this, and Obama also gave $900,000 to the biggest voter fraud group in the country, ACORN. Over $200 million of Obama's campaign contributions remain secret, in spite of Obama's repeated calls for "transparency" in government. Hillary Clinton's people are saying the Obama campaign won the early Democratic primary caucuses through voter fraud and intimidation. There are reports of millions in illegal foreign contributions being received by the Obama campaign. I even tested the authenticity of donating to the Obama campaign myself. After hearing that online Obama donations were not being screened properly to prevent fraud, I went to Obama's website and tried to donate $15 with my credit card. The phony name I used for the transaction was 'Campy AignFraud'. I used a phony address as well. The Obama campaign accepted the fraudulent transaction lickety split, and never even asked for my credit card security code. They even sent me a nice followup e-mail, thanking the non-existent Campy for donating money with my credit card. Change We Can Believe In.

The Messiah is a special, special man, folks. Get on board the train, or be left behind at the station. I have, as Campy's campaign donation has proven.

Obama/Biden in 2008. Vote early and vote often. This is freaking historic.



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