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All Da King's Men

President NewsCycle Reacts

By Da King Published: June 11, 2010

Proactively taking swift action (if "swift" means slower than molasses, and 'proactive' means reactive), President NewsCycle (or is it President Kick-Ass now ?) has scheduled a meeting with BP executives on June 16th, 58 days after the Deepwater Horizon oil rig explosion began spewing millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf Of Mexico. Who can possibly accuse Obama of sitting on his kick-ass while the Gulf was dying now ?!?! The meeting was requested in a letter from Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen to BP headquarters in London. Bloomberg reports:

“The BP Deepwater Horizon spill has had a profound impact on Americans living in the Gulf region and time is of the essence in resolving these issues,” Allen wrote in the letter.

BP has received the invitation “and an appropriate senior delegation would of course be glad to attend,” company spokesman Max McGahan said in a telephone interview.

Svanberg and BP officials will meet with senior administration officials and Obama will participate in a portion of the session, Allen wrote. It would be Obama’s first direct communication with BP representatives since the April 20 explosion of the Deepwater Horizon rig that killed 11 people and triggered the spill.

I applaud President NewsCycle for taking this initiative. He has stepped forward after nearly two months, in an audacious attempt to prevent his poll numbers from sinking any lower. That's leadership, my friends.

But I can't help thinking that if Bush was still the President, and he had reacted to this oil spill as Obama has, they'd be roasting him on a spit in the middle of the National Mall by now.

The letter to BP officials also contained other reassuring words:

“As the president has said, our administration is not going to rest or be satisfied until the leak is stopped at the source, the oil in the Gulf is contained and cleaned up, and the people of the Gulf are able to go back to their lives and their livelihoods,” Allen wrote.

Right on, Mr. President. You go, girl ! Another correct decision ! I'm so happy Obama didn't go with Plan B, which was to let the oil leak out until it runs it's natural course, and screw the Gulf Of Mexico and all the people and wildlife living in the vicinity. This President is shrewd, alright, and making these types of

no-brainer wise decisions is why we elected him.

In other spill-related news, a Washington Post-ABC News poll said 81 percent of Americans gave BP low marks in handling the oil spill. These polls always amaze me. If 81 percent gave BP low marks, that means 19 percent DIDN'T give BP low marks. Who are these 19 percent ? Have they been in a coma for the last 7 weeks ? Following is one completely true made-up phone call from a poller to one of those 19 percent:

[Ring ! Ring !]
Citizen: Hello ?
Poller: Hello, sir. I'm from ABC, and I'm conducting an opinion poll on the BP oil spill in the Gulf Of Mexico.
Citizen: On the what ? (puff, puff).
Poller: The oil spill.
Citizen: Somebody spilled some oil ?
Poller: Yes, lots of it. In the Gulf Of Mexico. It's spilling due to the British Petroleum oil rig explosion 50 days ago.
Citizen: Bummer. Wait a minute. Did you say you were from ABC ? Am I on TV right now ? (puff, puff).
Poller: Um, no sir. This is a telephone opinion poll.
Citizen: Yeah, but am I on TV ?!?!
Poller: No, sir. May I ask you a question about the oil spill, sir ?
Citizen: I guess. Will I win a prize if I say the right answer ?
Poller: No, sir. There is no right answer. This is just an opinion poll.
Citizen: Bummer (puff, puff). Okay, go ahead (cough).
Poller: In your estimation, is British Petroleum doing a good job of plugging the oil leak and cleaning up the environmental damage caused by the leak ?
Citizen: I guess so. The BP station down the block has some pretty good Slurpies, and the chick working behind the counter is way hot. BP seems to be pretty together.
Poller: Thanks for your cooperation, sir.
Citizien: Party on, dude.
[Click]

You can also find these sorts of people on television game shows like Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader ?, as follows....

That's sooo dumb. Everyone knows there are only 312 feet in a yard.

Until next time....

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