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All Da King's Men

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

By Da King Published: December 2, 2007


A series of Gallup Polls found that Republicans have better mental health than Democrats. Normally, I don't put much stock in polls, but hey, this one is just too good to pass up :-)

The polls found:

Republicans are significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate their mental health as excellent, according to data from the last four November Gallup Health and Healthcare polls. Fifty-eight percent of Republicans report having excellent mental health, compared to 43% of independents and 38% of Democrats. This relationship between party identification and reports of excellent mental health persists even within categories of income, age, gender, church attendance, and education.

I find this shocking. 38% of Democrats think they have excellent mental health ? That sounds way on the high side according to my observances. This must be the 38% who are still living in their parents basements. The ones who play video games all day, whose major life decision is, do we order from Dominos or Pizza Hut ?

Just kidding, Democrats. I can't help myself.

Well, maybe I could help myself, if I was in the 58% of Republicans who have excellent mental health, but maybe I'm in the other 42%. I don't even know if I can make that judgement. I seem fine to me, but I could be wrong. Besides, I'm not a member of the Republican party. I'm a registered Independent, so my mental health prospects just dropped even lower. Rats. At least I'm not a Democrat. Whew. The odds would really be stacked against me then.

Assuming my own mental health is more or less 'thumbs up', I would like to offer all you crazy Democrats a few tips on how to improve your situation, mentally speaking. Judging from the polls, along with everything I've heard and read for many years, there is definitely a need. From what I've witnessed, the further to the left one pulls politically, the more insane one becomes (see 'Hugo Chavez' for recent irrefutable evidence), so I'll try to address that.

Liberals : How To Improve Your Mental Health

1. Everything is NOT a conspiracy manufactured by our own government.

It was Al Qaeda who crashed planes into the WTC and the Pentagon on 9/11. It wasn't Bush. It wasn't a controlled demolition. Get a clue and drop the idiotic theories.

2. If you can't get your mind around #1, and you believe everything IS a conspiracy manufactured by our own government, then... at least STOP VOTING WITH THE DEMOCRATS FOR BIGGER AND BIGGER GOVERNMENT !!!

That's like saying 'the government is evil, give me more !'. If that isn't a sign of insane schizophrenia, I don't know what is.

3. Freedom is GOOD.

Not socialism, not communism, not the nanny state. Freedom. As little government as possible, the lowest taxes possible, as little interference as possible. We also fight for freedom all over the world. That is our duty. We don't appease the human rights deniers. This is america, and this is what we stand for. If you have ever spoken words like 'Saddam should be back in power in Iraq', keep reading #3 over and over again until you understand how screwed up you are.

4. Nobody owes you anything. You must work to acquire what you want. Stop complaining.

You are not entitled to other people's money. You are not more special than anyone else. You are not a victim. Nobody is 'out to get you'. You are just like everyone else. Some people may be richer than you, and other people may be poorer than you. Get over it. You are still just like everyone else, and in this country you have the opportunity to change your lot in life.


That'll do for starters. Good luck on your mental health journey.

At least now we know why Democrats want "free" health care. They need it.

Just kidding, Democrats.




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