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All Da King's Men

TSA And Your Junk

By Da King Published: November 22, 2010

This is going to be a short post, because the solution to this issue is so obvious.

Here's TSA on the job:
- After 9/11, airline passengers were forbidden to carry sharp objects.
- After the shoe bomber, airline passengers had to take off their shoes.
- After the underwear bomber, airline passengers have to undergo full body scans and pat-downs of their private parts.
- After the recent cargo bombs, the TSA decided they should scan cargo.

Given all these reactive policies, what's going to happen after the first rectal bomber hides his bomb where the sun don't shine ? Pre-flight colonoscopies ? How far down the rabbit hole of political correctness are we going to go before we admit that we know the profiles of these attempted bombers ?

Now, I don't have any embarassment issues associated with the nude full body scans, and I have no problem going through one...but I don't want to be patted down like a criminal suspect just because I've decided to take a trip to Las Vegas, especially when I've lived in the United States my entire life and have never committed any crimes (no major ones, at least. Don't ask. I'm not telling). I know the TSA's job is to keep the airplanes safe. It's the government's job to keep the public safe, but I can assist the government in significantly slimming down the airline bomber suspect pool.

Here's how you identify a potential terrorist bomber boarding an airplane, sans political correctness:

1. He/she comes from a Muslim country. Using this advanced identification technique would eliminate 95% of airline passengers right off the bat.
2. He/she is a Muslim.
3. See #1 and #2.

I'm not saying every Muslim should be pulled aside for questioning and a pat-down at the airport. That would be as dumb as what we are doing now, and it would be racist as well. 99.9% of Muslims have no desire to blow up an airplane. Let them go through the body scan just like everyone else. What I am saying is that through a combination of standard security techniques, background checks, and scrutiny of passenger behavior, which includes (gasp!) PROFILING, we can avoid groping the genitals and breasts of 70-year old Aunt Ruth who had a mastectomy and wears a prosthetic breast, and who just wants to go see her children and grandchildren for Christmas.

Or we can continue to act as if we're clueless. It appears the Obama administration, as well as the previous administration, is choosing clueless.


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