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All Da King's Men

Wanted: Senator, No Experience Necessary

By Da King Published: December 29, 2008

The media is all abuzz about whether Caroline Kennedy is qualified to be appointed the junior Senator from New York. This in a year when we elected a President who had only two years in Congress prior to launching his presidential campaign, and who has no prior executive experience. This in a year when a comedian, Al Franken, who also has zero political experience, may become a Minnesota Senator if they can "find" enough votes to elect him. The great state of Minnesota previously elected a professional wrestler as their Governor, and California elected Arnold Schwarzenegger Governor because those Terminator movies were pretty cool.

Is Caroline Kennedy qualified ? Who cares ? It's an irrelevant question.

There are no qualifications to be a politician. Most of the time, you only need to fool the public into voting for you. This is generally accomplished by a series of slogans, lies, and false promises, but Caroline doesn't have to worry about that too much if she can get New York Governor David Paterson to appoint her. Plus Caroline is a KENNEDY. That's as close as we get to royalty in this country. That carries a lot of weight. For example, Caroline's uncle Teddy killed a woman and covered it up almost thirty years ago, and he's STILL in the Senate. 'Nuff said. Royalty has it's privileges. I only wonder why O.J. Simpson didn't go into politics. He had the requisite star power, but alas, it's too late now.

Of course Caroline Kennedy is qualified to be a Senator, even if she doesn't have any qualifications. Now, if she wanted to be a plumber, that would be a different story. You have to know something to be a plumber. She would NOT be qualified for that, but Caroline only wants to be one of the leaders of the country. That's an entry-level position, no experience necessary.

Three more things in Caroline's favor:

1) She read a poem on Def Poetry Jam a few years ago, so she has cred with the younger generation. Okay, probably not, but at least they didn't boo her off the stage.

2) She dissed a New York Times reporter for asking her softball questions yesterday, and suggested the reporter should be writing for a women's magazine instead of reporting on politics. Major kudos to Caroline for that wisecrack, even though her response will be twisted into a criticism of women, which it was not (Hint - Caroline Kennedy IS A WOMAN).

3) Caroline said she was "dismayed" over her own voting record, which showed she seldom voted in New York elections. I know this seems like a negative mark against her, but it shows she is quickly picking up the ability to BS, an essential trait for a politician. I think this should count as a qualification.

Vote for Caroline in '09 !!! Er, I mean, Appoint Caroline in '09 !!! I think her slogan should be "Hey, At Least I Haven't Done Anything Wrong Yet.'

But let's check the water in Minnesota. Something's definitely not right there.



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