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All Da King's Men


By Da King Published: February 12, 2008


I've been reading some dangerous and subversive writings lately. I have to share some of it with you, because I think these radical views could upset our liberal democracy if they become mainstream. Get a load of this claptrap:

“[A] wise and frugal government... shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned.” —Thomas Jefferson

Obviously, this Thomas Jefferson guy is some kind of greedy right wing extremist who is only looking out for the rich. He must be a conservative talk radio host or something. Whoever he is, we definitely shouldn't listen to his crazy rantings. Nothing good can come from it (other than the United States Of America - premier superpower, economic powerhouse, and beacon of freedom for the entire world, that is).

If you think that's bad, listen to this next wingnut's anti-government rambling:

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master - George Washington

Holy Pelosi ! This guy is very unamerican, right Nancy ? The deranged loon sounds like the next Timothy McVeigh, or, even worse (shiver), Rush Limbaugh (oh, sorry, I meant 'that fat druggie Rush Limbaugh'. I didn't mean to be politically incorrect and omit the required pejorative adjectives) . This George Washington nut must not understand that it takes a village. Sounds like he wasn't educated in public schools either, the heretic. If Hillary wins, she should get his FBI file to the White House asap. We can't have that kind of Revolutionary language being bandied about. It might disturb the collective.

This next guy is one of those NRA gun nut types. I think he owns a brewery. He was probably drunk when he said this:

The Constitution shall never be construed... to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms - Samuel Adams

Now, I did a little digging, and I discovered all these fanatics are members of some cult known as The Founding Fathers (must be some right-wing militia group), very dangerous. Here's another one of them, who is obviously one of those supply sider sob's, a heartless person with no compassion for the poor:

I am for doing good to the poor, but I differ in opinion of the means. I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. In my youth I traveled much, and I observed in different countries, that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer - Benjamin Franklin

This Founding Fathers group (they're probably associated with the KKK) also talks about freedom an awful lot, man. War too. They must be a bunch of fascist uber-nationalist gung-ho Christionista Marine types that go around talking about God and Country. What a bunch of squares. They should just smoke some weed and chill out, already. Check this out:

Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! - Patrick Henry

The radical right-wing Founding Father nazis also have published some manifestos that you definitely want to avoid reading if you wish to remain a member of our liberal democracy. Among these subversives tomes are The Federalist Papers, The Declaration Of Independence, and The US Constitution. I don't think you really need to read them, because they are all really old, and don't apply to us today. Of course, there is that old saying - Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it....



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