The dispicamus monkey was once believed to be extinct. It appeared as if Jim Tressel and his mighty Ohio State Buckeyes were sitting on top of the world when Ohio State defeated Notre Dame 34-20 in the 2006 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. The win was Ohio State's fourth consecutive BCS bowl victory, and a convincing one at that. The conference supremacy arguments were at a stand still. The BigTen had a respectable bowl record against the other BCS conferences, and Ohio State's two consecutive losses to South Carolina in bowl games were history, history that Ohio State had put behind them. Tressel still had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but there was no monkey in sight. No one had seen the monkey in years.
Fast forward to January 8th, 2007. Ohio State entered the National Championship as a touchdown favorite. Ted Ginn Jr. took the opening kick-off 100 yards to the house - the monkey was the last thing on the minds of the Ohio State faithful. Just then, like a theif in the night, the monkey jumped out of the stands and into the celebration huddle, twisted Ted Ginn's ankle, and later, ran off with Troy Smith's arm. He also tied together the offensive lines' shoe-laces. I swear I heard him giggling on my surround sound. The result(a 41-14 defeat) would resonate for years, and the Tressel Monkey(gatorus dispicamus) would appear in Ohio State forums, message boards, and casual conversation like a pop-up on meetlocalsdotcom. After every victory, after every defeat, whenever Ohio State showed up on the sidelines, or on sportscenter, the Tressel Monkey followed. At times, the Bucks had the monkey in their crosshairs.
The first time was in the 2009 Fiesta Bowl versus Texas. As the Ohio State fans started to anticipate the end of this public menace - 'Curious George' took front and center as Quan Cosby scored on a 26 yard strike from Colt McCoy with only 16 seconds remaining in the game. Texas prevailed 24-21. About nine months later, the monkey popped back out of the wound and lead USC on a 88 yard scoring drive, sending the Ohio State fans home on the short end of a 18-15 final. The Monkey was not just alive - he was kickin'.
It wasn't until the bitter defeat to an outmanned Purdue team that Jim Bollman and his offensive line decided that they were fed up with all this 'monkey business'. Ohio State rolled off 6 straight victories to finish the 2009 season. Three were against teams ranked in the top 15, and the finale', a 26-17 Rose Bowl victory over 10-2 Oregon, scared the monkey into hiding. Bollman and his band of roadgraters were destroying the monkey's habitat. George was gone, but not for good.
George occasionally pops up in southern bars talking about OSU's bowl record versus the SEC. He's especially popular in Tennessee and Georgia were the fans seem to gain satisfaction by his antics - which only help to ease the pain of their now struggling football programs. George and his friends often mock Terrelle Pryor(as if they have a better signal caller for the job), and await the next opportunity to chant 'S-E-C' while jumping on one of their rivals' bandwagons and taking an opportunistic 'joyride'.
The stage is set. George is still out there, and Jim, Terrelle, Cameron, and Bollman's band of roadgraters are on the hunt. 'The Killshot' appears to be a NC victory over an SEC Champion. A solid season with another bowl victory(this time over an SEC team) could do the trick, but Ohio State players and fans want the whole enchilada, they want to feast on the flesh of the dispicamus with diced, fresh tomatoes and sour cream. Happy hunting!