Written while watching, after the jump.
(Summary: Paul is out. Haley, Stefano, Paul were bottom three.)
After not mentioning the vote total a week ago, Ryan says it was "over 53 million" this week -- still fewer than the last time they mentioned a total.
Scotty and Lauren, to some theorists the pre-emptive favorites for final two, sing together on Lady Antebellum's "American Honey." The song is no "Need You Now," for starters, and I sure don't need this performance. Dozing off already.
Is it just me, or is Ryan's head getting more like a perfect rectangle?
The gang makes a zombie video. Then we see the zombie video. Because, you know, there just weren't enough shots of the car in the making-of segment.
Would have liked to see Paul's throat ripped out by zombies. Not that it would have affected his singing.
Casey and Haley sing together. I suffer. When Casey scats, it's somewhat bearable. But a lot of this is overdone, and Haley's freakin' awful. Again. But isn't it educational*?
Casey and Haley have to stay onstage, joined by Lauren and Scotty. Lights dimmed. Ryan recaps and gives the judges another chance to be uncritical.
Scotty safe. One of others is bottom three. Lauren safe. Haley bottom three.
Rob Reiner "advises" the cast. Torturous.
Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean sing. Aldean has a big hat. Dwight Yoakum hide-your-eyes big. And Tyler must be thinking that this song sounds eerily like "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing." Unnecessary song and performance.
But Kelly remains adorable.
"Cowboys and Aliens." Yes! The bride asks what I think. Come on, it's called "Cowboys and Aliens."
Jacob, Paul, Stefano and James perform "The Sounds of Silence." James and Jacob together, iffy. Paul and Stefano sing together, stinkily. Segue into "Mrs. Robinson." Embarrassing for everyone.
Results with the Unfab Four. Two are in bottom three. James is safe. Stefano bottom three. Jacob safe. Paul bottom three. I am good with any of the bottom three going home, but would prefer it be Paul or Haley, since they have annoyed me most.
Chaka Khan and Anita Baker in the house. Rihanna performs. Sounds as if there's some feedback at first. Or just bad production. I would compare this to other recent Rihanna TV performances, if I could have kept track of them all. (I tried to rewrite this as a "Dirty Harry" reference for Twitter, but it didn't really work.)
"Another tense moment on this stage," says Ryan. Says only girls have left the competition since top 10 week. And says Haley is safe. Bleh.
Paul is out. Huzzah. Journey video, blather, Paul demonstrates his singing limitations, and we are done.
*See my performance recap, below.