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"Dancing With the Stars" Finale

By admin Published: May 19, 2009

It's about 75 minutes into the two-hour telecast, following reappearances by losing contestants, Lady Gaga performing, Jeffrey Ross's roasting and other bits. And now we're about to get something that matters. .... (Spoiler alert: The final result is at the end of this post, after the jump.)

Last night the judges seemed about right, with Gilles and Shawn tied for first at 58 of 60 and Melissa a couple of points back. I thought the two best dances on Monday were Gilles's first and Shawn's second. Now we have a reprise of a previous dance, which will be factored into the Boolean equations and translated into heiroglyphics before being turned into a binary system to determine a winner. (If you think I'm kidding, the real system is described here.)

How's this for a news tie-in from Channel 5: A graphic about a story on "Pole dance away the pounds."

Shawn goes first. At her final dance, not the pole and the pounds. Cha cha. Ballas in his Michael Jackson suit again. OK but far from their best, and it looked here and there as if Shawn was having to adjust her steps. Len says the longer she goes, the stronger Shawn gets. Bruno says she was cute and saucy and sexy. Carrie Ann says they all underestimated her. But at this point, the praise level from the judges is pretty high regardless of actual performance. Scores: Straight 10s. As much as I have admired Shawn's work this season, that's nonsense. Total for all dances: 88 of a possible 90.

Melissa next. Samba. Confident, and she kept her top on this time. But I've seen her better, too. I saw some glitches in her footwork, not that I expect the judges to call her on it, especially after the trip 10's for Shawn. Bruno is ecstatic. Carrie Ann brings up Terpischore, the muse of dance. Len says she has style and elegance mixed with rhythm and performance. Scores: Triple 10s, for a total of 86. And pressure on Gilles.

And so it's his turn. Tango. I have to say, not for the first time, that he and Cheryl make a very sexy couple -- probably the sexiest in the history of the show. This wasn't my favorite dance from him, either, but I am hard pressed to see how the judges can justify lowballing him in their scores. CA calls him "a very special performer" and praises his ARTISTRY. (Oh, wait, that's the other competition.) Len says Gilles has brought him the most pleasure to watch this year. Bruno calls it a triumph and "a star is born." Bergeron cracks about what the scores might be. Yes, another set of triple 10s and 88 overall. So it's down to what the viewer voters did.
I'd think it would be Gilles to win (and would put Shawn second), but can't quite forget that "poor Melissa" constituency wanting to vindicate her "Bachelor" humiliation.

Lady Gaga fills time.

Third place couple: Melissa and Tony. Whew. She was really good at times, but this week she was third.

I like the Matthew Fox/Teri Hatcher ABC spot. "On the island" indeed.

Bergeron says this is the closest finale ever, with less than 1 percent separating Shawn and Gilles.

Winners: Shawn and Mark.

And based on that, Kris will win "American Idol" tomorrow. I have to think Shawn got the young and the texters/online voters, and the same audience will lean toward Kris.

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