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Fantasy, Reality and the Indians

By RD Heldenfels Published: July 1, 2006

Most of today was spent outside, soaking up sun and digging up bushes. Two transplanted, four retired, with the new stuff waiting for the spaces once occupied by the retired shrubbery. It felt good to do, although my hands, arms, elbows, shoulders, wrists, palms and whatever are a little achy now. But the transplanting made for some nice improvements in one spot, and the new bushes will do likewise once we get them in.

Now, for the Indians. We were relaxing late in the day, and channel-flipping while thinking about pizza, and there among the premium channels was ''Major League II,'' the second in the wish-fulfillment saga of the Indians (and a precursor to their real-life, on-field success). We lingered until the movie's end. (I know, the first one is better, but the second one is still OK.) I made note of all the actors in it who now have TV series -- Dennis Haysbert in ''The Unit,'' Charlie Sheen in ''Two and a Half Men,'' Omar Epps in ''House.'' And it was nice to see the Indians win a big game.

I had no such optimism for the real Indians, especially after watching last night's debacle, an ending so horrible I kept flipping over from ''The Wire'' to watch in nightmare-building disbelief. But I was curious enough to go to their game after the movie ended, just in time to see Hafner's grand slam, which gave the Indians a five-run lead.

The real game wasn't -- isn't -- done. The Reds have gotten one run back, making it 8-4, and it's still only the sixth inning. The movie was tidier, and therefore more satisfying.

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