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For Your Video and Literary Amusement

By Rich Heldenfels Published: August 9, 2013

The above video, by Miley Cyrus, is one of the more fascinating examples of the fiorm gone terribly wrong. It's "Football on Your Phone" without the self-awareness. It is a reason to believe that no one should ever make a music video again. It is dancing teddy bears.

But even such a nightmare as this can inspire great art. Or at least great, double-tracked parody. So The Hairpin looked at this video and wondered how Cormac McCarthy would have described it. The result is here.  A sample:

The sky meets land and doesn't ask us why but asks why the eff not. Then the sky does a line of cocaine off a toilet. The kids here live in the pre-dawn hours and party until the sky transforms into an endless plane lit by shades of fire made more vibrant by the vision of the pill they call molly.

Revel in it.

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