Ryan is calling the Midwest the ''Mid-Worst.'' Hey, if it weren't for people like the woman singing ''If I Were King of the Forest,'' they'd have a much harder time filling the early shows with mockery.
''I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.'' ''He's singing it like a show tune,'' says younger son. He does not mean it as a compliment. The auditioner is throwing attitude, enough to peeve Randy.
Again: enough to peeve Randy. Holy moley. Simon is enjoying the idea of someone else seeming rude. Randy reaches at last for praise: ''Off Broadway, you'd be amazing.'' Well, maybe it wasn't a compliment. (See younger son's comment, above.)
More singing. Paula has her eyes closed. I am sure she was concentrating on the vocals. Young blonde gets Hollywood. I'll fill in the name later. (Michelle Steingas, 19, Excelsior, Minn.)
Sequence of unemployed people trying to get on the show, followed by one of those roaming auditioners whose boss paid her way to Minneapolis. The judges are skeptical. Wouldn't you be -- especially after hearing some of those ''Tell Me Something Good'' shrieks? The boss is summoned, to be told the auditioner couldn't sing. Simon is ''puzzled'' about the deal. Randy calls her ''tone deaf.'' She sings to the boss. Sounds better (though still not good). Jewel can't vote. Paula calls her ''a beautiful girl'' but says she can't sing. It's see-ya.
Paula acts offended about the ''lascivious'' comments. You'd think she had been accused of an unseemly relationship with a contestant.
Matt Sato, 16, Maplewood, Minn., show choir kid with a zit on his noise. Sings satisfactorily. Score one for show choir kids.
And so we head into the final half-hour -- and another post.
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