Continuing our tour of the late-night hosts, I watch my recording of last night's show ...
Laugh off camera as Kimmel begins his introduction. "Normally I would say something funny here but I don't have any writers, so we'll just sit." Pause before he says "We'll be right back." Then a break.
Notes he has been off the air for two months because "my fiancee, Jamie Lynn Spears, became pregnant." Then says the writers are not there -- wonders if in other places "no one cares." Explains the Internet issue, which is the first serious discussion of any strike issue on the late shows. Goes into a gripe about celebs being told not to go on the shows where the writers are still on strike. Admits when it comes to writing for himself, "I don't know what the rules are." Starts just talking about Christmas, and going to the Playboy mansion, seeing David Cassidy. I don't watch Kimmel enough to know if this is as amusing as he usually gets; if it is, then I'm not sorry that I don't watch Kimmel much.
Banter with Guilermo and Uncle Frank. Kimmel says he's going to play some clips from earlier shows so the writers will get some residuals. Even calls the segment "Great Moments for Which Residuals Are Paid to Our Unemployed Writers." First is Frank with Kermit the Frog, talking to Kermit as if he's a real creature instead of a puppet. They sing the alphabet song. This is not inspired.
After a break, Frank is shaving off Guilermo's goatee. First guest: Andy Dick. Talk about Andy's drinking, talk about his birthday, watching "It's a Wonderful Life," going to the Rose Parade. Pleasant, no more. After a break, Kimmel brings up Andy's membership in the Writers Guild. "I don't really know what's going on," Andy says. Mentions that he got some non-Guild writers, reads some lame jokes to demonstrate. Another "Great Moments."
So Kimmel has decided that the best comeback from reruns is ... reruns.
I know it's morning but this feels like the slowest of the talk shows I have watched so far.
After a break, Helio Castroneves. Ah, Disney synergy. Kimmel does a very good job of tying Helio in knots over the Julianne Hough question. Seems to move on, but goes back to it. "Come on," Helio pleads. Andy tap dances on the table.
Kid Rock from Times Square. Sounding very Mellencamp-Meets-Barry-McGuire. Gets an audio drop. Could there be more car-company plugs with the stage? Looks like a huge crowd. Was this actually recorded on New Year's? No chat with Kimmel. Second Kid Rock number, "Bawitdaba," as the show goes off. Fine print in credits notes that Kid was previously recorded.