After the jump: "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday" and "Survivor: Samoa."
"Survivor" got off to an OK start, with a villain at least as demented, but definitely more evil than Coach. It's Russell, the oil-company owner who seems to have studied previous "Survivor" baddies very closely, and then tried to up the ante. Jonny Fairplay faked a dead grandma; Russell not only faked a dead dog, he faked having the dog, what he did for a living, that he had lived in New Orleans AND he was in Hurricane Katrina. No half measures for this guy.
Which reminds me of the legendary lawyer Racehorse Haynes. More about him here, including his long-famous defense strategy:
Say you sue me because you say my dog bit you. ... My dog doesn’t bite. And second, in the alternative, my dog was tied up that night. And third, I don’t believe you really got bit.
And if that doesn't work? I don’t have a dog.
Now, you may not find that amusing, but it's a lot more so than anything in tonight's "SNL Weekend Update Thursday." Only possible exception: Bill Hader's James Carville. No funny lines, but a great impression. Still, overall a terrible bit, weighed down by multiple Joe Wilson jokes, which were not only bad but old. Considering that there were genuinely funny episodes of "Community," "Parks and Recreation" and "The Office" tonight, "SNL" just floated in the punchbowl. Can't wait for "30 Rock" to be back.