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''My Eggs Are Rotting''

By RD Heldenfels Published: January 16, 2006

Tonight's viewing decisions are going to be tougher than I expected. I'm not too concerned about the Golden Globes, which I try to ignore because, well, they're a joke. A highly publicized joke to be sure, but still a joke. And I have a review disc of tonight's ''24'' if I feel compelled to watch more.


Anyway, I was thinking of using tonight to catch up on some shows I haven't seen, like last week's ''Gilmore Girls,'' as well as plowing through some of the DVD sets and other review material that has been piling up while I was spending long days and nights on some TV features, church activities, a project for my younger son's school and the like.


TV over the weekend consisted mainly of watching some ''Firefly'' over my wife's shoulder as she finished off the DVD set, looking at bits from a couple of upcoming ''Saturday Night Live'' samplers (Alec Baldwin and David Spade) because it was easy to start and stop watching them, and trying not to have a heart attack while watching the end of the Steelers-Colts game. Scripted dramas can only dream of concocting such thrills.


And one more thing. Looking for something absolutely undemanding to kill an hour, the wife and I turned on ''The Bachelor's'' latest installment. I'm not a big fan of the show, to be sure. And I don't know why people of color even bother to try out, since the show skews so white. But it filled time. And, while most of was lame, that one bachelorette, Allie G, proved sufficiently watchable that I've even looked at some of her scenes again.


You know, the Florida oncologist who declared she wanted a husband because ''my eggs are rotting.''


Who told The Bachelor she is in her ''reproductive phase.''


Who said ''the only one reason to be married is to have kids.'' (And this on a show about romantic love, no less.)


And who got into The Bachelor's face when she didn't get a rose.


What a fabulous TV meltdown! Allie G says in the show that she has tried various methods of dating and they haven't worked. Could it be it's not the method? That maybe it's her personality -- not to mention that, in some decidely unflattering shots, she looked a lot like Amy Sedaris on ''Strangers With Candy''?


Now here's my dilemma. The ratings were not good for ''The Bachelor'' last week, but the whole Allie G thing was certainly buzz-worthy. So tonight at 9, ABC is repeating the premiere (bumping ''Jake In Progress'' and ''Emily's Reasons,'' which are due back on Jan. 23), with the promise of additional, unseen footage. That can only mean More Meltdown. And maybe the new episode at 10 will have Meltdown Fallout -- lots of dish from the remaining bachelorettes about things you shouldn't share with The Bachelor on first meeting.


How could I not be just a little curious?


I do have some other things to do tonight. But I have a feeling that, if nothing else, the DVR is going to grab some ''Bachelor.''


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