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The Closing Part of the Opening Ceremonies

By RD Heldenfels Published: February 10, 2006

If Bette Midler and Cher toured together, the set would look a lot like this. Only with better dancers.

Mary Carillo points out Michelle Kwan. What, no Bode Miller?

We are pondering the future through dance, big dancing pieces of cheese and some guy who resembles one of those Visible Man figures. Again, this is why announcers get paid so well. They have gotten through all of this without saying, ''What the bleep is that?''

The moment does not cry out for Brian Williams's rumination on the Italian auto industry.

I am sure that, if I was sitting in Torino and watching this live, I would enjoy the bursts of flame, the floating objects, the gigantic spectacle, in a way that just doesn't come across on TV. I would also be bored and puzzled in spots, but rather less than I am at home, when whatever modest momentum has been built is disrupted by NBC's need to have Dennis Haysbert sell me insurance.

I am waiting for just one thing at this point, and that is to see who will be the last carrier of the Olympic flame. I have managed not to peek at the stories to know who it is, and I am hoping to be dazzled or moved.

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