☰ Menu
The HeldenFiles Online

The VMAs

By RD Heldenfels Published: August 31, 2006

My ears have regained their ability to hear now that a decent interval has passed since the visiting Target Demo shrieked her rage at ''My Humps'' winning an award. So here are the notes on the night.

Things I liked: Jack Black's deliberately fouled-up opening (although I was surprised at the lack of a censoring lip-flap on him in the elevator). ... Diddy's suit. ...  That Justin Timberlake is not K-Fed; he can sing and has better fashion sense. ... The Raconteurs generally, but especially with Lou Reed. (But how many of the people watching actually know ''White Light /White Heat''?). ...  OK Go live. ...  T.I. ...  Beyonce's camel coat. ...  All-American Rejects' merry (if fueled) attitude at winning. ... Snoop demonstrating once again that he is the Dean Martin of modern music. ... Jack Black's linking Paris Hilton to ''independent film.'' ... Kanye West's tribute to Hype Williams. .. The way the Moon Man awards broke (more than once, I think) ... The Killers ... Sarah Silverman! Sarah Silverman!

Things that have not delighted: That point when Beyonce appeared to be blending Pat Benatar in ''Love Is a Battlefield'' with early Janet Jackson (although the moves got better later). ... Pink's ''I totally won'' acceptance speech -- and her irked look when she won; I was wondering if her acceptance was a satirical commentary on ''Stupid Girls'' or just stupid. I voted for stupid. ... Most of the rest of Jack Black's work. ... John Norris's ''Hey, I'm Young and Semi-Hip'' hair; when Clay Aiken changed his look, did John decide Clay's old one was available? ... Jessica Simpson's wobbly appearance. I wondered if she was drunk or stupid (although she avoided the eternal ''Animal House'' trifecta). I voted for stupid. ... Jared Leto; he could have conquered the world after ''My So-Called Life'' and has opted instead to be, well, thin. ... Britney and Kevin's bit ....  Al Gore's slide show, especially since the telecast didn't show the pictures well ... The chicken, long-distance shots of the Jackass guys live; if you invite them on the air, you should be prepared to put what they do in the show ... Axl Rose looking like Conan O'Brien playing Axl Rose ... Paris Hilton's hair bump. ... MTV's hyping the online stuff ... That the VMAs are still an awards show and have to fill time with nominees' names and acceptance speeches that for the most part aren't very interesting.

The HeldenFiles Online Archives




Heldenfels' mailbag

  • Main Blog Promo
  • Cavs Blog Promo
  • Browns Blog Promo
  • Indians Blog Promo
  • Beer Blog Promo
  • Fracking Blog Promo
  • High School Blog Promo
  • Zips Blog Promo
  • Akron Dish Food Blog
Prev Next