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Understanding the Late-Night Mess

By admin Published: January 19, 2010

I offer this explanation from a transcript of Seth Meyers' comments on "Saturday Night Live":

Let’s say you’re married. And it’s the #1 marriage in the country. But then you meet someone else who just sweeps you off your feet so you say to her, “I want to marry you - in five years.” And she says, “yes, I will wait 5 years to marry you.” So then you go home and tell your current wife, “honey, in 5 years we are getting a divorce.” Now you might think, your current wife would be super cool with that, and say “thank you for being honest” but it turns out, she’s actually super mad. And as the 5 years pass, she gets in really good shape, so when the time comes for the divorce, she’s looking better than ever. She looks so good that you see other people looking at her and you get jealous. So you come up with an awesome plan. You’ll still marry the second person but you’ll also stay married to the first. So you tell the new wife, “good news, we are totally married but every night when I get home I’m going to spend a half-hour with my first wife first, but then I’m all yours. And before you even see how she feels about it you hold a big press conference and tell people that you’ve changed the future of marriage. Now if you think the new wife is cool with this plan, she’s not, she’s super mad. And the first wife is also acting weird, you know, because you have two wives! But then just when you think you’re stuck, you come up with a perfect plan to solve all your problems. You kill your second wife.

The question now is will NBC be OK? That all depends on one thing: “Chuck.” Lots of pressure on “Chuck” right now. Also, I feel bad for the writers of “Law and Order.” They’re gonna be responsible for ten hours of programming a day. They say their stories are ripped from the headlines but a newspaper only has so many headlines to rip out. The last episode I saw was about a broken air conditioner at a PTA meeting. Next week, two detectives are going to try and solve a sudoku. Look, obviously I’m invested in this because it affects me. If Jay can take his job back from Conan that means maybe Conan can take it back from Jimmy and that mean Jimmy might come back here and I cannot go back to being in a sketch once every three weeks.

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