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Blog of Mass Destruction

"All Men"

By The Reverend Published: July 4, 2014

A couple of items on my mind this July 4th morning.

The first is, yes, yet another Supreme Court-related activity....

A divided Supreme Court on Thursday allowed, at least for now, an evangelical college in Illinois that objects to paying for contraceptives in its health plan to avoid filling out a government document that the college says would violate its religious beliefs.

The Christian sensibilities of Wheaton College officials are so very tender that the High Priests of the U.S. Supreme Court had to excuse them from having to "fill out a form that enables their insurers or third-party administrators to take on the responsibility of paying for the birth control."

All that Wheaton College officials had to do to rid themselves of Satan's plan to provide contraception was to fill out a form which waived their duty to provide contraception under Obamacare and assigned that duty to a third party. But Wheaton College officials refused on religious conscience grounds. Can't even fill out the paper without consorting with Satan.

I recognize this self-righteous, we-are-martyrs-for-the-lord schtick. Evangelical Christianity used to be my game. You know how Tea Partiers like to fancy themselves the second coming of the early American "pioneers?" Evangelical Christians fancy themselves the second coming of first century Christian martyrs, oh-so-persecuted by the evil Obama-led, U.S. government.

In reality....been there, done that.....these evangelical Christians are but narcissists constantly staring at their own "righteous" navels. They are infatuated with their own state of "saved" godliness. In this state of self-infatuation, evangelicals understand the "world" as out there.....damned and destined for their loving god's eternally burning Nazi-fire.....while they, and they alone, are dressed properly for heaven.

In this delusional state, evangelicals detect godless government persecution in almost every action taken by a "Democrat" government. Republicans are excused from this delusional script because....well....they claim they are the Party of Life.

Wheaton College officials, inebriated with their own specialness, actually believe that simply signing a government waiver releasing them from any "appearance of evil" in assisting contraception distribution is comparable to first century Christians refusing to publicly deny their faith in Jesus or be killed by the brutal Romans.

It's a vicarious persecution complex drama which makes the evangelicals who perform in it.....look petty, selfish, and...frankly......quite silly. Evangelicals who think that their god is keeping score of government waiver signatures believe in an invisible being who "tests" the authenticity of faith by trying to catch believers in a "god-gotcha" compromise. But U.S. evangelicals are one step ahead of the Devil and won't be fooled by government waivers meant to catch them with their faith-guards down.

Thanks to 6 black robed High Priests of Jesusland, navel-gazing, narcissistic evangelicals have been spared the ultimate test of faith. I'm sure Satan hasn't given up though.....and will surely be back to tempt those same evangelicals into being tolerant of, say, gays who seek to marry. Would-be martyrs must stand their holy ground no matter how many groups and classes of people must suffer their intolerance. Why?

Because all these issues of equality are really not about folks in America still being marginalized and treated unequally......they are only about testing the faith of the lord's chosen in the U.S. To side with the equality group is to side with Satan, to obey secular law is to compromise with The Dark Side.

Like I said, delusional.

Which brings me to the Declaration of Independence. Though originally signed on July 2nd, today we celebrate that signing on July 4th.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

That "all men are created equal" was "self-evident" to the Founders. Yet, those Founders assembled a government of laws which excluded a huge number of "all men." How "self-evident" was it that "all men" were created equally....if black and red skinned men were excluded as well as women? Not very.

Just as we are flawed as a people today, so too the Founders. In many ways the Declaration was nothing but a hypocritical statement to justify white male settlers rejection of English rule. Context is everything here. Almost 240 years later, the descendants of the Founders are still fighting over who those "all men" should include.

But what is distinctly different about the fight today is that now we have 5 black robed High Priests self-ordained to emphatically answer remaining equality questions for us. In Citizens United, the Priests of Jesusland decided that "all men" means "all men with lots of money." This week, the Jesusland Priests excluded "women who use contraception", siding with the right of "all religious men with lots of money" to behave intolerantly towards employees who are not men.

While delusional evangelicals celebrate their narcississtic "victory" over Satan's temptation to embrace female autonomy.....Supreme Court Justices celebrate their power to keep females in their rightful place while elevating the rights of "rich, religious male business owners", as god and the Founders intended, to the neo-"self-evident" class.

Have a great 4th. Stay tuned, I'll be blogging through the weekend....and as always, thanks for reading.



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