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Business Uncertainties Lead To Record Profits

By The Reverend Published: November 27, 2010

Barack Obama has spent his first two years as president being very mean towards the business class. He's anti-business, I'm told. Bad for business. Bad for the economy. Obama's policies, I'm told over and over again, are bad, bad, bad...I'm talking seriously bad for those who make our economy go.....the business class.

Do you even realize how bad for business Barack Obama has been?....

American businesses earned profits at an annual rate of $1.659 trillion in the third quarter, according to a Commerce Department report released Tuesday. That is the highest figure recorded since the government began keeping track over 60 years ago, at least in nominal or noninflation-adjusted terms.

I'm tellin' ya'....that Obama....damn, he's bad for business. Obama is so bad for business, so anti-business.....that over the last quarter American businesses set an all time record for cumulative profits. That's how bad Obama's presidency has been for business.

Do you think those record setting profit numbers happened because the corporate tax rate is too high? The corporate tax rate in the U.S. is 35%, even though only a fraction of corporations pay any corporate tax at all. Perhaps the corporate tax rate drug aggregate profits into record setting territory last quarter. Think that could be it?

Oh, I know....maybe it's the personal income tax rates. Well, not the rates right now....but the uncertainty caused by the anti-business Obama over the income tax rate on the top 2%? So uncertain that new all time profit records were shattered last quarter. How uncertain can it get?

Obama has created so much business uncertainty that you're probably uncertain even now over what I'm trying to say about the uncertainty he's creating.

Our corporate overlords were so uncertain over the last god, the uncertainty......ObamaCare, income tax rates, capital gains rates, the estate tax.....I feel so uncertain just typing the stuff. Everything is up in the air, nothing's settled, nothing can be depended upon.....and that's why the best those overlords could muster, cumulatively, was a new U.S. record yearly pace of $1.659 trillion in profits. Man, just think if those business leaders had not been filled with so many troubling uncertainties last quarter. They may have just trickled a few drops of those record profits down their legs onto the rest of us....the "takers."

The larger question to be asked is: what are our business overlords gonna' do now with all the goddamn uncertainty out there in business land? After such a meager quarterly profit report, these American business giants are probably thinking about getting out of business altogether......that's how uncertain everything is now, all because of the Dark Knight in the White House.....he's anti-business.

American business leaders are so uncertain over the future, you know, dealing with questions, like, 'what will Obama do next to hurt business?', 'how can business survive with all this uncertainty surrounding us?' It's hard setting record profit quarters in the midst of all the....uncertainties.

I can see the Fox Entertainment Network's "breaking news" chyron already....."Businesses Uncertain After Setting Record Profits."

That Barack Obama......he's said so many mean things to our business overlords that their fee-fees have been forever bruised. Barack Obama has, unexplainably, created such an anti-business atmosphere throughout the nation, an atmosphere so filled with uncertainties, that our shell-shocked and under siege businesses barely survived last quarter.....managing to only squeak out an all time profit record.

Why, why, why has Obama's presidency been so obvously bad for business? Can anyone explain it?



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