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Blog of Mass Destruction

'Can't Make This Stuff Up' Tuesday

By The Reverend Published: May 5, 2009

Our military's role in Afghanistan? Hunting people for Jesus.

I thought we were spreading freedom. That's what Commander Guy said.

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Hell no, we're not intolerant. GOP'ers pick Jeff Sessions (R-AL) to replace Arlen Specter as ranking Republican on Senate Judiciary Committee.

Commenting on Sessions' 80's fight against black Americans, former MLK adviser said this yesterday....

"We were trying to get the right to vote," Hogue said. "He tried to persecute us."

Republicans simply getting their message out. Some might call it 'forward thinking.' Others?......I'm thinking, maybe, 'Back to the Future.'

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Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) says the GOP isn't a national party anymore.

Hey, I'm not gonna' argue with him. But what comes next? Will the GOP no longer be even a regional party soon? What comes next, regional secession? Lots of questions.

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Nothing wrong with The Republican Party that a good ole' fashioned contentless photo opportunity won't fix, right?

If AIG can change their name to AIU,.....wait a second, that was last month.....let me start over, if AIG can change their name to Valic, you know, so we don't know who they are anymore.....THEN.....surely, we won't be able to recognize the same old Republicans if they label themselves the National Council for a New America.

Republican House Whip, Roy Blunt (Einstein-MO) argues with himself....

“Just because we’re in a situation now where we vote no doesn’t mean we are the ‘party of no’ or have no ideas,” said former House Republican Whip Roy Blunt,..."

No report on what it does mean.

These are not the same old Bush hacks, either.

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Everyone is invited to the Republican Table, and even if some GOP'ers are tired of the same food being served, they're not changing the menu.

At least, that's what RNC Chairman Steele says.

Come on Mikey, we're tired of eating the same warmed over, 28 year old gruel. We're tired of the taste of tax cuts.

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Big Money simply pays too much out in taxes. They argue, righteously, that they can't be as, you know, competitive, as they would like to be while gambling away Americans 401K monies. I mean, taxes on gambling? How unAmerican.

So, what in the hell could President Obama be thinking here? Removing tax deductions for Big Money gamblers who play hide the sausage in offshore tax havens? Will Obama stop at nothing in his assault of Big Money entitlements?

Senator Mitch McConnell believes it's unAmerican to take away the Big Money gamblers divine right to not pay taxes.....

Senator Mitch McConnell (Goober-KY), the Republican leader, said he supported tax reform and efforts to crack down on tax evaders. But, he added, “I cannot endorse a plan that gives preferential treatment to foreign companies at the expense of U.S. companies.”

He called the plan “a significant tax increase on companies representing 44 percent of total U.S. private employment” and said that in the depths of recession, it seemed “particularly harmful to our shared goal of creating more American jobs rather than driving them overseas.”

How can I argue with ole' Droopy-Drawers McConnell? Why would ANYONE endorse a plan to give foreign companies "preferential treatment?" You see, "preferential treatment to foreign companies", according to Droopy, is when American companies have their "preferential treatment" of avoiding taxes taken away.

Droopy is a brainiac, no doubt. One thing for sure. McConnell is not shilling for Big Money. Perish the thought. Droopy-Drawers represents "real Americans" in "real America." Ole' Droop is from a state whose other senator is the certifiably insane, Jim Bunning, but Bunning played major league baseball, so that qualifies him as a "real American." All good.

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Finally, did you see Condi Rice's swollen eye? No reports are forthcoming yet on what happened. Some are saying she got into a fight with American 4th graders over torture, and got her ass approriately kicked by young, homegrown, terrorist-wannabes. Hell yeah, "by definition", bitches.

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