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Contraception Wars: Arizona Frontline

By The Reverend Published: March 16, 2012

As the Contraception Wars have broken out across the country, we've been repeatedly told that the core reason for the battles is "religious liberty" and "conscience". If the big, bad, Obama compels any employer, or any health insurer, to pay for contraception for female employees....all religious liberty in America is in jeopardy.

That has been the argument, if you call that an argument.

But, as the Contraception Wars have spread to the many states with Commander Rick Santorum directing the armies of the lord against the Dark Knight's godless sluts and prostitutes....the argument has morphed into something else.

Dateline, Arizona.

Arizona legislators have advanced an unprecedented bill that would require women who wish to have their contraception covered by their health insurance plans to prove to their employers that they are taking it to treat medical conditions. The bill also makes it easier for Arizona employers to fire a woman for using birth control to prevent pregnancy despite the employer's moral objection.

Now, read that paragraph again....because I know it's hard to believe.

I'm not exactly sure what the hell has happened down in Arizona. Could be the heat, I guess. Could be the drunken-looking crazy woman governor they have. I can't say for sure. What I can say for sure is that Arizona's recent ambush in the Contraception Wars has nothing to do with "religious liberty."

Under current law, health plans in Arizona that cover other prescription medications must also cover contraception. House Bill 2625, which the state House of Representatives passed earlier this month and the Senate Judiciary Committee endorsed on Monday, repeals that law and allows any employer to refuse to cover contraception that will be used "for contraceptive, abortifacient, abortion or sterilization purposes." If a woman wants the cost of her contraception covered, she has to "submit a claim" to her employer providing evidence of a medical condition, such as endometriosis or polycystic ovarian syndrome, that can be treated with birth control.

When Republican enthusiasts speak of "liberty" and "freedom".....the Arizona bill is what they have in mind.

Freedom and liberty, to Republicans fighting on the front lines of the Contraception Wars, mean that god-fearing, commie-hating, boot-strapping conservative employers have the freedom to place themselves in between a female employee and her doctor. Before a

slut female employee in Arizona can obtain clearance to have her birth control prescription filled, the prostitute she must first explain to her employer why she is taking birth control pills.

Arizona Tea-influenced Republicans really thought this new bill out. Not only does this "less government intrusion in our lives" bill insert an employer in between a woman and her spreads freedom a bit further....

...the law would give Arizona employers the green light to fire a woman upon finding out that she took birth control for the purpose of preventing pregnancy.

This new expansion of women's freedom and women's liberty in Arizona will, of necessity, require the creation of a Bedroom Brigade to protect the interests of the Contraception Wars employer-generals.

Just think about it. Those double dealing

sluts female employees may conspire with their (liberal) doctors to prescribe the pill in order to control monthly cramps....when what those female employees are really up getting the patriotic, boot-strapping employer to pay for them to have sex with their husbands.

If the new law goes into effect, it will force female employees who can't afford to pay full price for birth control to share private, sometimes embarrassing medical information with her employer in order to get her prescription covered.

Ahh...liberty.....freedom. Fill your lungs with it and thank god you're an American. Where else could a major political party have the liberty to properly shame women when required? Down in Texas, the patriotic Republicans there voted to use the Shaming Wand to properly shame and humiliate women who wouldn't bend to the will of males. Not to be out done, Arizona is now spreading liberty to

sluts women by making them go over their most private and personal female health issues with their Shaming Employer.....before receiving approval for a doctor's prescription.

Enter Rick Santorum's personal

millionaire free speech provider, Foster Freiss. Funny man Foster told Andrea Mitchell a couple weeks back that in the old days, I suppose when men were men and women did what men said, or else....women found contraception to be very inexpensive. Sluts Women, according to Freiss, simply bought an aspirin and placed it in between her knees. Male authoritarian generals in the Contraception Wars may be unbearable pricks...but they sure maintain their senses of humor.

However, now with Arizona's new

Shame the Sluts Employer Freedom law, won't a slut female employee have to discuss with her boot-strapping, conservative, god-fearing employer why she needs an aspirin prescription? And won't the Arizona Bedroom Brigade enforcers need to verify that, indeed, the slut female employee is using the aspirin in the way she explained she would to her relieve headaches.....and not to place those aspirins between her knees ala Foster Freiss?

The brilliance of this Arizona freedom and liberty legislation.....excuse me while I recite the Pledge of found in the wellspring of newly found freedom and liberty lavished upon god's employers in the state of Arizona. Should the hypothetical Arizona

slut female employee be found by the Bedroom Brigade to be placing those aspirin between her knees...abusing her limited rights to prescriptions in such a brazen fashion.....then, the godly employer, all freedomed-up with his new liberty, can justly fire that slut employee for unlawful use of a prescription.

To many conservatives.....that's what freedom and liberty look like.



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