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Fighting The Good Fight Against Orgasms

By The Reverend Published: October 4, 2007

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Orgasms (ohmygod) have been threatening the entire state of Alabama. Wow. Who knew orgasms were back in Alabama? Sleeper cells, perhaps?

But those Alabama patriots have fought back....hard.

Alabama had outlawed the sale of what some call "marital aids." The U.S. Supreme Court last week declined to review the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruling in Williams v. Alabama that upholds the 1998 ban.

I'm sure the Supremes "declined to review" because they were in total agreement with the fighting tactics of those brave Alabama leaders. And hey, if Alabama doesn't fight those orgasms from 'coming' into their state, what might happen? I'll tell you what would happen.....terrorist orgasms would just be everywhere in no time at all.

And who could argue with the reasons Alabama gives for fighting these immoral, orgasm producing, terror gadgets?

Here's their patriotic argument....

"it is enough for a legislature to reasonably believe that commerce in the pursuit of orgasms by artificial means for their own sake is detrimental to the health and morality of the State." Link

There you have it.

It's not the Southern Bible(Chastity) Belt ignorance instilled by superstitious storybooks that manifests itself in Puritanical viewspoints about human sexuality, that's "detrimental to the health and morality of the State". Oh no...

It's the dildos and the vibrators.

Who in the hell are these people?

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