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Blog of Mass Destruction

He's So Funny

By The Reverend Published: December 4, 2007


George W. Bush is known for his jokesterism. What can I say? He's simply a funny guy. Whenever I hear him talk, I can't help but laugh out loud. He and TurdBlossom may be able to hit the comedy club circuit together in just a little over a year.....that's how funny those two chuckleheads are. Rove is already composing jokes in his Time magazine he'll be ready when the Good Humor Decider Man is sent back to Crawford come next January.

To fully appreciate Junior's humor, some background is needed. One story from the Commander in Comedy's past will prepare the reader for the very funny story Bush told yesterday. First the past.....

In 1990, a few years after receiving salvation, Bush was still bumping along. Much is apparent from one of the few instances of disinterested testimony to come from this period. It is the voice of David Rubenstein, managing director and cofounder of the Carlyle Group, the Washington-based investment firm that is one of the town's most powerful institutions and a longtime business home for the president's father. In 1989, the catering division of Marriott was taken private and established as Caterair by a group of Carlyle investors. Several old-guard Republicans, including the former Nixon aide Fred Malek, were involved.

Rubenstein described that time to a convention of pension managers in Los Angeles last year, recalling that Malek approached him and said: "There is a guy who would like to be on the board. He's kind of down on his luck a bit. Needs a job. . . . Needs some board positions." Though Rubenstein didn't think George W. Bush, then in his mid-40's, "added much value," he put him on the Caterair board. "Came to all the meetings," Rubenstein told the conventioneers. "Told a lot of jokes. Not that many clean ones. And after a while I kind of said to him, after about three years: 'You know, I'm not sure this is really for you. Maybe you should do something else. Because I don't think you're adding that much value to the board. You don't know that much about the company.' He said: 'Well, I think I'm getting out of this business anyway. And I don't really like it that much. So I'm probably going to resign from the board.' And I said thanks. Didn't think I'd ever see him again." Link

See how funny the pre-president was? He told a lot of dirty jokes....and this was after he found Jesus too....but he just wasn't "adding that much value" to Caterair's board deliberations. Imagine that. George W. Bush, galaxy conquering Commander Guy post September 11, 2001, wasn't able to add much value to a company that catered food for airline passengers.

There's a joke in there somewhere.

On to yesterday's comedy routine from the ex-non-value-adding-joke-teller.....

“In a political maneuver designed to block my ability to make recess appointments, congressional leaders arranged for a senator to come in every three days or so, bang a gavel, wait for about 30 seconds, bang a gavel again, and then leave,” Bush said. “Under the Senate rules, this counts as a full day. If 30 seconds is a full day, no wonder Congress has got a lot of work to do.” Link

Ha, ha. Hasn't lost his touch, has he?

The other version of the joke involved a president who waited for the Congress to recess before he would, behind closed doors and without oversight, appoint droves of people, all because the Senate would have rejected those appointments otherwise. That practice by the Codpiece, for one example, led to a year tour of the U.N. jokester, John Bolton, the white-mustachioed funnyman.

In August of 2005, the Joketeller set a new and impressive record for presidents...."The previous record for presidential slacking-off was 335 days. On August 18, Bush surpassed that number of days off, and he still has more than three years left in his second term." Source

335 days off, (and that was over 2 years ago), and the Clown in Chief was trying yesterday to make fun of the Senate because someone showed up?

Here's what's a real riot....the Congress sends a bill over to the Funny, Joketelling, President.... and in high-photo-op mode....he picks up a presidential pen and in one quick signature moment stamps his APPROVAL on the bill. Cameras clicking, smiles beaming, backs slapped, hands shaken, congratulations given. Just as soon as the cameras and smiles are packed away....Junior the Jokeman goes behind closed doors for probably, I don't know, 30 seconds or so, and places his signature on a document that states the president, even though he has signed the bill, doesn't have to obey that bill, because he's the president and HE determines which laws he will obey and which ones he won't. Now, that's some funny stuff.

The Funnyman from Crawford has pulled that funny stunt over 800 times, did so again just recently, and will continue that jokestring until January 2009.....that's when the American people will finally get the last laugh.

Finally, the joke of all jokes from Mr. No-Added Value. Junior was on vacation (shocker) when the Terri Schiavo carnival came to Washington D.C. But in a moment of high-hilarity, Bush flew home in what appeared at the time to be an emergency bill signing to save the life of one dead woman. The signing took....I don't know....about 30 seconds, I suppose.

30 seconds to prove to all of America what a joke he really was.



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