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Blog of Mass Destruction

Heads We Win, Tails You Lose

By The Reverend Published: January 28, 2009

Obama won the election....Democrats increased their majorities in the Congress....so minority Republicans should get their way on all new policy decisions.

Obama campaigned on closing Guantanomo and ending torture, and won the election.....so Gitmo should stay open and torture continued.

Obama campaigned on cutting payroll taxes for middle and lower income working families, and won the election....so Republicans should get their way on reducing income tax rates.

Democrats won the last election by a wide margin and now hold significant majorities in both houses of Congress....therefore, only Republican economic dogma should be considered for the new recovery and stimulus legislation.

Obama ran on ending Bush tax cuts for those making over $200K....and won the election.....which means that Obama should CUT taxes for those making over $200K.

Obama campaigned explaining how conservative economic policies have failed, miserably, over the last number of years, leading us into a New Depression.....Obama won the election handily.....therefore, only Republican economic principles (translation: tax cuts) should be taken seriously.

Obama and the Democrats campaigned, and won, pointing out that the income gap of the top income "earners" as compared to average working Americans has never been so wide......and that proves that more tax cuts and financial breaks should be handed out to those same top income "earners".

Obama campaigned on a new bipartianship style, new politics, and.....won.....therefore, Republicans are entitled to undermine and mock any attempts at.....bipartisanship, as John Boner did yesterday before he and his GOP clones met with Obama.

Obama won the popular vote by almost 10 million votes, and by the GOP's own admission, Obama was the most liberal senator in D.C........which equates into: America is a conservative nation and Obama must govern as a center-right president.

Obama and the Democrats crushed the Republicans in November's election......Obama is now the president.....and that means that Bush, even now, should be able to keep his ex-employees from respecting all future subpoenas, which means Bush is still president.

Obama ran his campaign targeting working families and the middle class as the focus of where to rebuild our national economy, from the bottom up......and that means that the national economy should be rebuilt from the top down.

The new president campaigned....and....ummm.....won, by explaining his new way forward in dealing with the middle east, diplomacy and development, ......meaning that his calling of Palestinian leader Abbas and his interview on an Arab teevee station proves that Obama is an enemy of America.

President Obama.....oddly, the winner of the presidential election.....actually said the words, "I won", the other day while bargaining with Republicans.....therefore Obama is shrill, irresponsible, out of touch, mean, juvenile, pissy.....and that means he should be investigated to see if he really is the president.

Last but not least. President Obama and the Democratic majority, all winners in the past election, have promised to move with urgency to address the numerous crisis situations now confronting America because of failed Republican rule over the last eight years.....and as they do so.....that means that only Serious Republicans should be interviewed by Knee Pad Media. Furthermore, it means that Americans are not interested in hearing about how the Democratic majority plan on getting us out of those many crises.....it means Americans want non-stop coverage of important stuff, like Blago's hair.

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