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I Got Your "Cleavage Controversy" Right Here

By The Reverend Published: July 31, 2007

'cleavage-hillary.jpg'Wanna' find out how serious and solemn our political discourse is in America? Go to the Google, type in "cleavage controversy" and see how many links come up. What? Haven't heard about this yet, you say?

Just look at the valuable column inches in today's Beacon Journal opinion page ('Cleavage conundrum' by Judith Warner) given over to the Great and Perplexing Controversy About Hillary's.....gasp....dare I say it?.....CLEAVAGE!!!

Not a fifth of a page on, say, Hillary's health care plan as compared to Obama's or Edwards', not a compilation of points and counterpoints from the candidates about Iraq, Islamic extremism, education, jobs......not seemingly important stuff like that....instead, what do we get from today's media circus? Freaking cleavage opinion stories.

If it's not Mitt Romney's makeup, it's John Edwards' hair. If it's not Fred Thompson's 6' 5" gravitas, it's Obama's middle name. The Reverend will tell you what it really's the

bullshit trivialization of all things that should be taken seriously. It's the arrogance of all those Serious and Solemn "journalists" who think they know what the public wants and needs to read about.

The Serious and Solemn Protectors of Truth in America (SSPTA)* keep telling us that what we really need to know about our potential leaders is their grooming habits or whether we would like to sit down and drink a beer with them. Important serious stuff like that. What we don't want, according to the SSPTA, is all those facts and things that make our "eyes glaze over". I mean, come on, how boring is that?

The reason we have such a criminal administration today is partially because the MSM didn't pursue the important distinctions in candidates Bush, Gore and Kerry. Instead, we were treated to endless and mindless accounts of "earth tones" and "wind surfing", "Love Story" and "cowboy costumes".

The reason American soldiers are still dying in Iraq today is partially as a result of the MSM not doing their jobs of investigating White House claims. Instead, we were pitched "Curveballs" and "Codpieces" by the very serious and oh-so-knowledgeable "embeds".

Now it's starting all over again. The SSPTA* is simply "teaching the controversy". You know, giving us both sides of Hillary's momentous and world defying cleavage exposure and how it will affect world peace and all. I mean, how can Hillary tame them there ter'rists if she can't even tame her own bosoms?

Serious and solemn stuff, that.

*The SSPTA, though completely fictitious, want you the reader to know that NO breasts were injured or mistreated in the writing of this article.



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