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Operation Hurricane Hail-Mary-Gustav

By The Reverend Published: September 1, 2008

As I watch what's unfolding in the Republican National Convention, this year called Operation Hurricane Hail-Mary-Gustav, I found myself having to raise my legs up higher in higher from my chair because the phony empathetic bullsh*t was beginning to fill my living room. I've known for quite awhile that the Republican Party has no shame, so this farce isn't surprising. At the same time, I cannot escape noticing the rare pungency found in the pharisaical noxiousness of the whole ordeal.

Let me break it down.

The justification for delaying any 'political' activity the first day of the RNC has been offered up a sickening number of times, so there is no doubt about what the Republicans are doing. The Republicans are telling Americans that what's turned out to be a heavy rain storm along the Gulf Coast is the reason for their convention's delay. Republicans cannot in good conscience, we're told, act all celebratory and politically partisan, while so many red state Americans are 'in harms' way', so to speak.

The Republicans can, of course, use red state governors along the coast to bring a special message for their 'out of the danger zone' colleagues waiting in Minnesota....but how could anyone consider that to be politically partisan? How could anyone hear Gov. Perry from Texas talk about the band of Republican governors down there in the danger zone who are doing such a good job, and with such unification of mind and could anyone misconstrue that as acting politically partisan?

Here's the true cynical story I hoped I could spare readers here....but alas, it must be told.

Choreographed spontaneity.

The Republican Convention, far from being delayed, started early. The maverick-man, and the Rovians in charge of said maverick man's campaign, realized after Thursday night's Barack Obama speech that if something didn't change and change quickly, it would be curtains for the maverick-man's chances. Reacting accordingly then, the maverick-man pulled a dazzling trick of master politicking out of his maverick-bag by choosing as his running mate a runner-up in the Miss Alaska beauty contest and a former teevee sports announcer. To demonstrate just how much of a maverick-man McCain is, he decided to wait until after he picked Sarah Palin, to vette her. Maverick-men don't need to know about any pesky, you know, facts....they're maverick-men....they go with their gut. McCain went even further with his mavericky methods....he barely even knew Sarah Palin himself. Shocking to regular people, but I'm sure not to mavericks, is the discovery that despite barely knowing Palin, McCain knew she was a 'soulmate' of his. Such a display of maverick behaviour simply outweighs the fact that the former teevee sports announcer isn't qualified, in the least, to be running as anyone's vice-president.

Then what happens?

First, a quick review....

The GOP leaders in power when Katrina hit in 2005, the GOP leaders that gave us "Heckuva job Brownie' and flyover photo-ops, the GOP leaders still refusing to finish the job in New Orleans,.....the GOP party leaders, Bush and McCain, were doing this during the drowning of New Orleans citizens....

They were celebrating McCain's 69th birthday down in Arizona, you know, partying....while Louisiana was under water. It wasn't such a solemn or respectful time back then, was it? Maverick-man, in particular from the picture, seems to be having a guffawish good time, don't you think? The timing of Katrina was different from the timing of the Hail-Mary Thunderstorm called Gustav, naturally. Over 1800 people died in Katrina, a legitimately serious hurricane....and of course....Bush had just been re-elected the year there was no need to pretend to be all solemn and respectful over potential drowning they didn't even pretend. George and John Sydney ate cake and played guitar and had a jolly old time, giving no heed whatsoever to whether it was the righteous thing to do or not. Giving no thought nor care to how it all appeared to Americans.

The timing of Hail-Mary Thunderstorm, on the other hand, finds the party of Bush-Cheney-McCain being held in contempt by the American people with a big general election only two months away.

In 2005, the Republican operation during an authentic natural disaster was properly labeled for all Americans to see....'Operation Who Gives A F*ck'...causing George W. Bush's approval ratings to drop precipitously in the following months.

The maverick-man couldn't let that happen to him. So he launched, in typical neo-con pre-emptive manner, 'Operation Hurricane Hail-Mary'. The same folks who brought us the indifferent reactions to Katrina in 2005 are back again telling Americans, through their phoniest of the phony 'we care' telethons, that a heavy rainstorm in the Gulf Coast threatens 'fellow Americans' and simply must bring about a delay in any frivolity in a politically partisan convention.

Instead, as we can clearly see on our teevee screens, the proper place for political partisanship, is the staged and obviously overdone reactions of concern, solemnity and piety over a heavy rainstorm and it's potential victims. That's the political partisanship venue of choice for the maverick-man. A venue where fear is not the only weapon that can be used to exploit and manipulate people, but also the sorriest, most despicable, and ugliest pharisaical piety that I've yet witnessed. I can take the flip-fops and the lies....but I simply detest phony concern and staged compassion.

The cyncial John McCain, a deeply shattered and broken man, thinks so little of the American people, that he actually believes this phony act by him and his GOP fellows, this most despicable of ALL political exploitations, will be received as being authentic, heartfelt. The very same people who partied and vacationed the entire week of Katrina expect voters, voters who watched Katrina and it's aftermath unfold in all it's ugliness on their teevee screens, to think this time....they care. McCain is counting on the typical short attention span of Americans and a gullible media that simply loves to spout endlessly about the emotion and human interest of any tragedy. A media, like McCain, who could really care less about any of it, but know for sure that all those ignorant, knee-jerk rubes out there will lap it up like so many starving dogs.

One after another Republican has come forward before the microphone to declare how 'now is not the time for political partisanship or political pandering'.....and by so doing....have made all the phony concern into nothing but political partisanship.

Today's polls are showing a steady breaking away of Barack Obama from his maverick-man competitor. Just wait and see what happens after this oh-so-serious and solemn choreographed spontaneity event, in search of a disaster, is over.



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