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Blog of Mass Destruction

Pining For Baby Huey

By The Reverend Published: September 27, 2011

I saw the results of Florida's GOP straw poll and I thought.....what? Herman Cain?

Herman Cain received about 35% of the vote in the Sunshine State's GOP straw poll. That was twice as much as the nearest competitor.

Herman Cain? I thought Governor Rick Perry, only jumping in the race a few weeks ago, was going to be the adored new saviour of the totally broken Republican Party. Guess not, huh? But Herman Cain? Mr. 999?

By choosing Cain down in Florida, were Republicans protesting the motley cast of characters the Republican Party is offering voters this time around? Could be. I mean, how many potential GOP saviors have stood up to announce their candidacy....excited the excitable GOP base for a couple of weeks....and then, be kicked to the curb of irrelevance for one reason or another?

For two years the savior of the lost and befuddled GOP was going to be Sister Sarah of Wasilla. Despite the sound of rocks rolling around inside Sarah's head every time she stood before a microphone, Sarah would be a formidable political force that Democrats would have such an oh-so-difficult time defeating in 2012, you know, when she ran for the presidency. That's what I was told every night by Serious people on the teevee.

So sad. Sarah is busy collecting baskets with millions of dollars in them for her and her family instead of "you betcha-ing" our asses into thinking she could run anything other than her mouth.

Then it was Trump-time. The Donald. The Village creatures were especially high when Donald Trump pretended for 6-8 weeks to be running for the GOP candidacy for president. Any one who takes Trump seriously, ever, is offering themselves up to charges of being a sucker, or a fool....but that didn't stop all the Very Serious media members in Wired-For-Republican Media. The Donald's polling numbers rose and the slobber-fest by Republicans and their media pets over the Humble One was sickening.

Alas, it was but a one-month stand. Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann entered the GOP race.....and right on cue....the Tea Partied-up crowd went bonkers. One of their own would run for president....and a woman to boot. Michelle would surely replace the hopes and dreams of wingers which were lost after Sister Sarah disappointed them so. But Bachmann wanted to cure gays and install a dead man, Jesus, as Leader of America....and so it wasn't long before flitting TeaBaggers were off looking for yet another heartthrob.

The Gunslinger and Secessionist, Texas Governor Rick Perry would teach that Dark Knight of Socialism a thing or two, by god. Now we're talking. Perry, we were told, was quite the politician, quite the campaigner....he would be the real GOP deal. Immediately, he surpassed the chameleon Willard Mitt Romney, the odds-on favorite, and sent the Village Know Nothings into an authoritarian swoon.

But it was only another one-night stand for confused conservatives. Perry declared the United States unconstitutional and wanted to end the Ponzi scheme he knew as Social Security....which foamed up the mouths of the neo-confederates with glee. But, it was not meant to be.....the Expert politician from Texas couldn't hold his own in a couple of debates with the author of RomneyCare......and so....we find Herman Cain, in the latest Reality GOP Straw-Polling from Florida, far outdistancing all the former GOP heart throbs.

Now what?

Yesterday....right on schedule....cries of desperation were heard rising up from the Usual Suspects.....billionaires who think they own the nation....and the warmongers and kingmakers, Bill Kristol and Roger Ailes.

Please, please, please....Baby Huey, the cry went up.....please Governor Chris us from the Dark Knight, run for the presidency. Fox's Roger Ailes, the billionaire butt-brothers Koch, and several other ultra-rich controllers of the Republican Party had already pleaded with the obese Christie to run against the Kenyan Socialist....but Huey repeatedly replied that he was not ready to run for president quite yet.

Herman Cain's surprising win in the Florida straw poll was straw....for warmongers, thieves and Fox. Time to panic....again. Now, Christie just had to get into the race. Word is that Baby Huey is re-considering. We'll see.

Christie is rude, intolerant, and loves hurting the little people in his state for the sake of rich business he's everything the Republican Party could ever hope for. So will Baby Huey get in? Will he, can he, save the Know Nothing Party? Can Huey drag his extremely overweight ass around the country and inspire enough malcontents to light up with enthusiasm over the prospects of another Dick-Cheney authoritarian in the White House?

Time will tell. I'm betting that Christie, though undisciplined about his own appearance, will be disciplined enough, and smart enough, to know that he is only the current Know Nothing flavor of the month.

And nothing more.



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