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By The Reverend Published: November 26, 2010

Rendition of our nation's first socialist convention.

They're everywhere. Socialists, that is. They are behind every tree and shrub. They're under our, wait,..that's the Islamics.
Anyway, those socialists are everywhere....and wouldn't ya' know it?....those socialists tried to destroy the fabric of America before there was any American fabric to destroy.

If there is a comparable holiday myth developing which can rival that of the hellbound liberals waging war on....Christmas, it's the myth of those early Pilgrims dabbling in the dark forces of satanic socialism.

Yeah Skippy, let the near-genius, John Stossel of the Fox Entertainment Network, tell you how close America came in those early days to becoming....I don't know.....Stalinist Russia, you know, before Stalinist Russia was Stalinist Russia....

Stossel...."it wasn't exactly socialism, maybe corporate socialism because the company that ran, that was paying the Pilgrims, organized it this way, so they could all's the tragedy of the commons, when everybody owns something, nobody really cares about it. So, some people didn't work that hard. And when it came time to harvest, they grabbed the corn before it was ripe, maybe before someone else could get it. They nearly all starved for two years..."

Einsteinian wisdom from the Fair and Balanced Brigade...."when everybody owns something, nobody really cares about it."

Of course, if the only objective one has is to cut taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans....oh, yeah, and further deregulate big business......then one must box up quite a bit of historical hokum to confuse the more intellectually challenged.

That's where Fox.....and Dick Armey's FreedomWorks comes in.

In 1661 and 1662, the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians did share two meals together. But it wasn't until the "miracle of 1663" that they celebrated a bountiful feast like we do today. As Governor William Bradford wrote that year, "instead of famine now God gave them plenty." This was the year that Bradford switched to a more capitalist system.

Hey, if the Dick's Army can convince the low-and-no information voters that FreedomWorks, and the Republican Party, care for the average working class American.....then I guess that same Dick Army can rewrite history.

The truth, however, something else entirely....

Whatever the political leanings of the Pilgrims in that system, a historian tells the Times, "the arrangement did not produce famine."

Oh and one more thing: "Bradford did get rid of the common course -- but it was in 1623, after the first Thanksgiving, and not because the system wasn't working," the paper reports. "The Pilgrims just didn't like it."

Historians say that the settlers in Plymouth, and their supporters in England, did indeed agree to hold their property in common -- William Bradford, the governor, referred to it in his writings as the "common course." But the plan was in the interest of realizing a profit sooner, and was only intended for the short term; historians say the Pilgrims were more like shareholders in an early corporation than subjects of socialism.

Oh my..."shareholders in an early corporation." That's the more apt historical description of the early settlers. "It was in the interest of realizing a.....what?.....profit....sooner." Them socialists and their profits, huh?

The issue of socialism only comes up for discussion when Democrats control strategic political power. When Republicans have unchallenged power, socialism isn't talked about....unless we need to bash the French. We're sophisticated that way.

But let's review what those early pinko-pilgrims were really doing and compare that with what the mighty moving-and-shaking capitalists of

The early pilgrims agreed to all be members of a company which would share agricultural "profits" equally. In the 21st century, "pilgrims" who agree to join a collective by purchasing shares of a company's stock....are labeled, investors. Moreover, 21st century capitalist stock-owning "pilgrims" do not lift a finger, you know, to contribute to the work of the company. Oh, sure, these "pilgrim" investors write a check or click a computer mouse.....but 21st century capitalist "pilgrims" don't do any work for the collective company they own stock in.

And when the quarterly dividend-check bounty is harvested, 21st century non-socialist "pilgrims", those who don't lift a finger to help out the larger company, excitedly check the mail or their online accounts to see if all their non-work has paid off.

But not socialism. That's "investing." Someone else does all the work and you get to participate fully in the harvest.

So what's the lesson here?

Early pilgrims formed a collective company to maximize profits efficiently. Everyone toiled in the collective. Everyone benefited at harvest time.

21st century capitalist "pilgrims" click a mouse, join a collective company, publicly held, in order to make a profit. None of the 21st century "pilgrims" do a lick of contributory work for the collective, yet they all benefit equally in the quarterly harvest.

Now do you see why the early pilgrims, ala FreedomWorks, John Stossel and Fox, almost perished by dabbling in satanic socialism.....while their 21st century counterparts are sweat-of-their-brows, independent self-starters whose blood runs 100% pure capitalism?



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