☰ Menu
Blog of Mass Destruction

Taking Hostages 2, "Ultimate Leverage"

By The Reverend Published: March 15, 2011

In Taking Hostages, Part One, which aired on most teevee news programs last December to rave reviews by Village Elders, Republicans put the gun of tax increases to the foreheads of 95% of American families and threatened to pull the trigger if the top 5% had to pay one more penny than they have been used to paying.

As the cheesy mocu-drama unfolded, The Political Party of the Rich waxed all cocky, confident that their ransom note would eventually be honored by Barack of the Bipartisans, the alleged representative in hostage negotiations for the 95%. And so it came to pass after several scenes of the most pretentious acting and preening in front of the cameras in recent memory that Barack of the Bipartisans not only agreed to the ransom demands of the Political Party of the Rich.....but went even further in his eagerness to to be loved....bipartisanly.

The closing scene of Taking Hostages, Part One finds Barack of the Bipartisans kneeling before the representatives of the Political Party of the Rich, head bowed in obesiance, handing over a bonus estate tax reduction check to a Hostage Taker known as Droopy Dawg McConnell.

As the credits rolled in Part One, the Hostage Taking Gang was heard mumbling something about Bipartisan Barack's unacceptable deficits.

As promised, the original gang is now back for Taking Hostages 2, Ultimate Leverage. Promos for the Sequel have been running for a few weeks...and it looks like all of our favorite cartoonish characters are back. Here's Droopy flippantly promoting his new flick on the Hostage Network this past Sunday....

There are 53 Democrats and 47 Republicans. My prediction is not a single one of the 47 Republicans would vote to raise the debt ceiling unless it includes with it some credible effort to do something about our debt....... I think to get any of the 47 Republicans, you’ve got to do something (they) believe is credible –that the markets believe is credible, that the American people believe is credible, that foreign countries believe is credible — in addition to raising the debt ceiling.

I know, I know.....Droopy makes it sound like, Taking Hostages, the Sequel, will move beyond simple mocu-drama, venturing into a new form of black humor movie making. But don't let that discourage you, the Great Benefactors of the Political Party of the Rich have promised just as much mocumentary drama and intrigue as in the pilot film.

In this new movie, Droopy's Gang of 47 stages another kidnapping complete with ransom demands....but this time it's not simply the gun of tax increases on 95% of Americans that is being pointed at the heads of hostages. This time, the Geezers are gonna' get it.....that is, if the Angry, Angry Brown Shirts can't be stopped in time.

You see, Droopy's Gang is being threatened by the Angry, Angry Brown Shirts. The Brown Shirts, deliriously high on their own tea-induced, nihilistic visions.....will make Droopy's jowls hang down even further if he doesn't take something from the Geezers in return for increasing the nation's credit card limit.

I don't want to ruin your news-mocumentary-movie watching experience by telling you how everything turns out....but I can tell you this: this Sequel is not for the squeamish.

Will Social Security ages be raised in the richest nation in world history? Will Geezers on Medicare and the Lazy on Medicaid be forced to bring giveback-offerings to lay at the feet of the Benefactors of the Political Party of the Rich? More importantly, will Droopy Dawg turn his drooping jowls upside down into a satisified sh*t eating grin more often associated with leg-humping related activities?

In an intriguing, yet sober, promotion for Taking Hostages 2, co-producer, John Lobbyist-Thug Cornyn, current National Republican Senatorial Posse Chairman, Tweets....

The “debt ceiling vote is ultimate leverage to get fiscal reform,”

When the gun of tax increases on 95% of Americans is simply not big enough to get the job done for Droopy and Lobbyist Thug.....the situation demands the use of the "ultimate leverage" weapon. The nuclear option. The Geezer Gun.

Will Bipartisan Barack aim the Gun for Droop and Thug? Or will Bipartisan Barack, like he did in the pilot movie, reload the Party of the Rich's "ultimate leverage" weapon with Geezer-and-Poor piercing order to get re-elected as a Serious person?

The premier showing of Taking Hostages 2, Ultimate Leverage, is scheduled for airing sometime between April 15 and May 30. If you fully enjoyed the're gonna' love the Sequel. If you didn't, then stock up on smelling salts and keep a puke-bucket're going to need both.



About This Blog

Prev Next