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Blog of Mass Destruction

The Facts Insurgency

By The Reverend Published: August 28, 2007

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It has come to The Reverend's attention that we are at war. It's a war that is different than any other. This war changes everything. All fixtures of American governance, law and society must be adjusted to deal with this war.

What is this war?

It is the war against the insurgency of facts. Admittedly, facts are stubborn. They're dug in. Facts have their own ideology. Facts hate our freedom. These terrorizing facts will stoop to any low in this war for civilization. Facts are showing themselves to be anti-American in the way they keep jihading conventional wisdom and propaganda, those honored soldiers of the American status quo.

In this NY Times piece those insurgent facts are once again IED'ing the bastions of moral values......

If blue states care less about moral values, why are divorce rates so low in the bluest of the blue states? It's a question that intrigues conservatives, as much as it emboldens liberals.

As researchers have noted, the areas of the country where divorce rates are highest are also frequently the areas where many conservative Christians live.

Kentucky, Mississippi and Arkansas, for example, voted overwhelmingly for constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage. But they had three of the highest divorce rates in 2003, based on figures from the Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics.

The lowest divorce rates are largely in the blue states: the Northeast and the upper Midwest. And the state with the lowest divorce rate was Massachusetts, home to John Kerry, the Kennedys and same-sex marriage.

In 2003, the rate in Massachusetts was 5.7 divorces per 1,000 married people, compared with 10.8 in Kentucky, 11.1 in Mississippi and 12.7 in Arkansas.

"Some people are saying, 'The Bible Belt is so pro-marriage, but gee, they have the highest divorce rates in the country,' " said Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.

Right away you can see that these bloodthirsty facts will stop at no despicable act of exploding, you know, patriotic conventional wisdom concerning traditional moral values. When facts are so brainwashed, like they have obviously been, it's impossible to convince those facts of the...well....facts.

In this war of wars, it is simply unacceptable to believe anti-American facts like those spewed forth like exploding gunpowder in the Times article. Americans know better than to accept these blue state/red state terrorist facts for what they appear to be.....facts. The reason? America knows that red state people, those who voted for the Protector and Decider not once, but twice, were voting for him because they were voting for the "moral values" candidate. These voters were from red states, the home of moral values. No matter what those insurgent facts keep saying about moral values states, we still know those facts are not "for us" but "against" us in the Great War Without End.

We must carry on in this War Against Facts, or as Rudy Giuliani prefers, the Facts War Against us. Defeat at the hands of stubborn facts is.....not an option. I just hope the red staters, those who defend American traditional moral values, can fight the insurgent facts there, in the red states, so they won't follow us home, to the blue states, where their insidious work just might devastate our entire great and moral nation.

Hey, do you want to have to wear a facts burka? Me, either.

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