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The GOP: Political Party of the Tiny Penis

By The Reverend Published: July 28, 2007


I know, I know.....Sounds crazy, right? Sounds like The Reverend is simply reverting to conservative screecher's standard operating procedure of name calling and attempts to humiliate the opposition party, doesn't it?

Please allow me to elaborate on such a provocative title. It will all become clear, I promise.

Many bloggers much smarter than The Reverend have pointed out the authoritarian nature of the Republican Party. When I say authoritarian I mean this....

favoring complete obedience or subjection to authority as opposed to individual freedom

of or pertaining to a governmental or political system, principle, or practice in which individual freedom is held as completely subordinate to the power or authority of the state, centered either in one person or a small group that is not constitutionally accountable to the people. Link

Uncanny, isn't it? Sounds like Dictionary.Com was giving the definition of what's left of the current "support Bush at any cost" minority. From the halls of "unitary executive" theories to the shores of unilateral pre-emptive wars of choice, today's odd Republican cult of Bush can most definitely be described as 'authoritarian'.

This authoritarian party, led by the Decider, cheerled by the likes of Stonewaller Republican Senator Mitch McConnell, and represented in legal

bullshit arguments by "executive privilege" guy, Fred Fielding and serial perjurer, Alberto Gonzales, is now swooning over even more authoritarian presidential candidates like Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and Fred "Red Truck" Thompson.

Look at what is being said about the potential candidate who plays a solemn and very serious man on the teevee....

....making its way around the Internet is a widely circulated joke about the title of the recent film 300, in which a small troop of Spartans holds the line against the massive Persian army: "If Fred Thompson had been at Thermopylae, the movie would have been called 1." (Reading posts like this, it's unsurprising that, according to USA Today, 64 percent of Thompson's supporters are male, the highest percentage for any presidential hopeful.) Link

The title of the linked article is, I kid you not, "The Masculine Mystique of Fred Thompson. Who's Your Daddy?"

Despite the fact that Rudy, Mitt and Fred have never served in the military, Rudy is described by Chris Matthews on MSNBC as a "tough guy", Mitt, who isn't sure what he stands for, says he wants to "double Guantanomo" presumably because he is so manly and tough and Fred Thompson is described this way....

"When you put your children to bed at night, and you're laying your head down on your pillow, this is a guy people would trust to protect their backside no matter what happened." Link

Comments like these coming from GOP enthusiasts are not coincidental. There's an authoritarian method to this "The U.S. needs a Daddy" madness. Perhaps in a psychological way Republican voters are simply afraid, what with all them there ter'rists lurking behind every shampoo bottle and block of cheese brought onto an airplane. But that doesn't fully account for've been comes the punchline part....

By far the most compelling confirmation of the phallic meaning of the president's aircraft-carrier cakewalk was found on the hot-selling "George W. Bush Top Gun action figure" manufactured by Talking Presidents. I originally ordered one to use as part of the cover design for this book. The studly twelve-inch flyboy not only comes with a helmet and visor, goggles and oxygen mask, but underneath his flight suit is a full "basket" --- a genuine fake penis, apparently constructed with lifelike silicone. Link.

Told ya' I wasn't kidding.



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