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Blog of Mass Destruction

Translating Republican-Speak

By The Reverend Published: April 14, 2014

I have no idea what the source of the problem is. I suppose it could be prescription drug abuse, I hear that's a huge national problem. Brain eating bacteria has crossed my mind, but most sufferers of that rare disorder are usually not invited on to the Sunday "news" shows. I mean, at least not on a regular basis.

Perhaps it's just me. Maybe I'm the one with the problem.....always arrogantly insisting that words have meaning, when it is becoming increasingly clear that they really don't.....have any meaning at all.

Yesterday "lamestream media" old timer Bob Schieffer asked sugary-sweet-talking, Tennessee drawler, GOP Rep. Marsha Blackburn a relatively straight-forward question....

"There was a lot of debate on that (equal pay for women) last week, finally Republicans blocked it in the Senate. Are Republicans against equal pay for women and is that going to be a good political issue in these coming midterm elections?"

Even though it received 53 votes out of 100, a clear majority.....because the minority still rules in our free, fair and open democracy.....the Paycheck Fairness Act was blocked by Senate Republicans from proceeding to debate and a final vote. According to the NY Times, the proposed bill.....

....would bring transparency to worker pay by making it illegal for employers to penalize employees who discuss their salaries and by requiring the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to collect pay information from employers.

Ms. Blackburn's response to Schieffer's question is why I started suspecting some type of drug abuse was at play.....

"You know, I find this war on women rhetoric just almost silly. It is Republicans that have led the fight for women's equality....."

Senate Republicans stopped the Paycheck Fairness Act from proceeding to a vote....just LAST WEDNESDAY. Whatever "fight" Republicans "have led...for women's equality" in the past....they fought against women's equality by their vote in the Senate last week. That is, of course, if words, and votes, have any meaning.

Old Bob was even a bit flummoxed by Blackburn's WTF use of words in her answer, so he followed up....

"But why did the Senate Republicans then block this?"

Not sure if the active-narcotic ingredient in the abused prescription drugs kicked in at that moment, you know, or not.....but here's Blackburn's answer....

"Well, because the legislation was something that was going to be helpful for trial lawyers and what we would like to see happen is equal opportunity and clearing up some of the problems that exist that are not fair to women. We are all for equal pay..."

Again, if words have any real meaning any longer, what could the words, "we are all for equal pay" ....and "we would like to see...clearing up some of the problems that exist" mean, then, to Republicans? Because, obviously, those words do not mean that GOP lawmakers should pass, you know, laws....."clearing up the problems that exist" for women in the workplace. So what, if anything, do Blackburn's words mean?

The Reverend, after years of careful study and practice, has become fluent in proper winger-speak and it's conversational dialect, Tea-speak. Unlike geek-speak, winger-speak utilizes familiar English words. But the catch is that those familiar sounding words, when offered in winger-speak, don't have the same familiar meaning.

Thus, "we're all for equal pay".....doesn't really mean "we're all for equal pay." What "we're all for equal pay", after translation, means is, 'we're not for it if it means doing something about it.' And anyway, what "we're all for equal pay" actually means is Republicans are "for equal opportunity." So there.

You may think I'm just funnin' about the winger-to-English translations being necessary for a full appreciation of words spoken by Republicans these days. Although there is a lot of humor to be mined here, it is becoming a serious problem.

"protecting women's health safety" actually.....'making it much more difficult for women to access Planned Parenthood and exercise their legal right to choose.'

"religious liberty".....once translated.....becomes....'an employer's right to impose his religious beliefs on employees'

"preserving the integrity of the vote".....after translation equals....''making it more difficult for THOSE people to cast a ballot.'

"trainwreck"......after consulting the winger-to-English Thesaurus....means...."a law which reduces the number of uninsured Americans by almost 10 million."

"job creation" often-used euphemism on the right....really means....'tax and regulation cuts benefiting a handful of very rich Americans.'

"taking personal responsibility" conservative-speak and as witnessed in the actions of celebrity conservatives.....equals.....'some one else is to blame.'

"taking our country back"......while the translation from winger-to-English is controversial really means 'racism is over in the U.S. and it's time for America's rightful owners to take charge again by shredding domestic spending.'

"scandal" often repeated winger word.....actually means 'anything Darrell Issa says it is.'

I honestly hope this short linguistic exercise has been helpful. For a deeper, richer understanding of how Republicans use words....and because I mentioned the possibility of drug abuse.....this, also, may be of help....

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master—that's all."




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