There is a significant injustice going on out in Nebraska. One that needs everyone's attention. That's how egregious the injustice is. If injustices like the one currently being carried out in Lincoln, Nebraska are allowed to continue, then no American male will ever be safe....ever again.
A 22 year old man from Lincoln was suspicious that his girlfriend was spending time with someone else behind his back. The 22 year old, Trevor Case, acted on those suspicions this past Saturday. Here's what the girlfriend told police.....
Case confronted the woman when she got home from work Saturday morning and accused her of spending time with someone else.
Then, she told police, he bound her wrists with belts and head bands and stuffed socks in her mouth, according to the report. She said he put a shirt over her head and tied her ankles and wrists to the couch.
"He poured a pitcher of water on her head, and she started freaking out and thought she wasn't able to breathe," the report states.
Suspicious that there might be a slight chance his girlfriend was cheating on him....Trevor Case became The Decider in his own little world and jumped into action to defend his honor...and, of course, male dominance. Case waterboarded his girlfriend, probably because the IED's of jealousy inside his head were about to go off like, you know, ticking time bombs. The waterboarder had most likely calculated that there was at least a one percent chance that his girlfriend was playing the role of traitor in their relationship.....and that was too big of a risk to take....so, boldly, bravely, courageously and patriotically....he acted in self-defense.
Here's where the story goes....in my humble opinion....all wrong.
After hearing the girlfriend's account, elitist liberal lawyers, alleged to have French accents, and suspected by Nebraskans of being biased in favor of women who are about to ditch their crazy, assholian boyfriends.....drew up a probable cause affidavit for the arrest of Trevor Case on suspicion of false imprisonment and third-degree domestic assault.
How could that happen in today's America? I don't mean the near-drowning of a young woman....I mean the arrest of the waterboarder.....how could that happen? "False imprisonment"??? There's an oxymoron for you. Maybe TeaBaggers are right, Obama is weakening America.
How will young testosterone-driven American males be able to defend themselves in the future from girlfriends who consort with the enemy.....an enemy who has proven to be like no other enemy in history....an enemy who might not only pal around with your girlfriend, but sleep with her too.
The girlfriend was, in all probability, privy to secret and dangerous romantic plotting information which...duh....posed an immediate threat to Trevor Case's exceptionalism as the greatest boyfriend in the cosmos.
Talk about a national threat.
As of this blog writing, Fox News has not yet offered Trevor Case a lucrative job as their new "enhanced love interrogation" correspondent. However, is there any doubt that the young waterboarding gun will rise in stature much like our other national patriotic defenders have risen? Defenders like Oliver North, Scooter Libby, L'il Jimmy O'Keefe.....or the one who has no pulse, yet lives, Dick Cheney......and how can we forget the greatest defender of America....Mr. Codpiece himself, the patriot who resurrected the great Waterboard from the dusty shelf of medieval history and then, saved the entire universe by using it.....George W. Bush.
Just this week, the man who told the world that the only thing Americans had to fear about waterboarding our enemies....is fear itself, is reported to have told CIA officials....."Damn right".....when asked if they could waterboard Khalid Sheik Mohammed.
So, I ask you, how can law enforcement, this time in Lincoln, Nebraska....but maybe next time in a town or city near you.....arrest and prosecute Trevor Case, the patriotic interrogator of love? How, I ask you?
If Fox's future star is queried by a judge or prosecuting attorney, asked if he, indeed, waterboarded his girlfriend when his suspicions rose to the 1% level.....shouldn't Trevor Case respond with his own "Damn right?" And shouldn't Case then be able to walk right out of that courtroom, head held high, with all charges dismissed and all evidence destroyed?
In fact, what on earth are Lincoln, Nebraska law enforcers thinking? Has Nebraska become the new epicenter for liberal surrender monkeys? Let's try to be reasonable here.....it's common sense knowledge that waterboarding someone is the same as hazing college freshman.....harmless really.....and fun, you know, if everyone's in the right frame of mind.
If you are at this moment saying no, Trevor Case did a bad thing, criminal even, and he should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law........then tell me, is it love relationships that you hate or male freedom?
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