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Blog of Mass Destruction


By The Reverend Published: May 18, 2011

One blogger noticed that there were 8 Republicans and only one Democrat represented on last Sunday morning's "news" programs. The Democrats control the presidency and the Senate, and the Republicans control only the 8-1 in favor of Republican representation is what our Professional and Serious corporate media regards as, you know, fair and balanced.

It is true that corporate "news" media is "wired Republican", as Josh Marshall has said. There are many reasons for this. Media has become an extremely lucrative business and lucrative businesses want to pay less tax. Millionaire "news" anchors want to pay less tax. The GOP makes their candidates take a blood oath to never raise taxes...ever...if elected.

Big media wants to get bigger...and Republicans, as the Wall Street collapse demonstrated, want to help Big Corporations become even bigger by continually reducing government regulations.

And then there's the highly informed and historically accurate view, or not, that Big Village Media has about the Party of Lincoln. For reasons I admit I can't fathom, corporate media members regard the Republican Party as the "daddy" party. Yes, the GOP is an authoritarian political party very much at odds with a democratic republic where government is "for the people".....but Big Media, for some unexplainable reason, look to the GOP for their Serious, Strong, Wise and All-Knowing Daddy Presidents.

This spring, that's exactly what corporate teevee media has been doing....looking for a GOP daddy figure who can take back their corporately-owned country from the Dark Socialist Knight. For quite a while Sarah of Alaska was pumped as the new GOP daddy. Clubbing fish and blowing an elk's brains out and talking trash about our effeminate Democratic president aroused all the media's private parts so much, and for so long, that it looked like the dunce from our most socialized state would be the GOP's next authoritarian presidential candidate.

Lo and behold, it came to pass that Sister Sarah didn't, you know, know anything about much of anything.......except who was offering her the largest check to smile and spout wingnut gibberish in front of a camera.

Who, then, would media pick as their next celebrity daddy figure to run against that wimp Obama? The overnight sensation became The Donald. Who could be a bigger.....daddy....than Donald Trump? Full of undying admiration for himself and spouting race-baiting lies of stupidity on cue.....the Hair instantly became the new Ronald Reagan.

Unbelievably, Republicans were willing to jump off the bridge of credibility into the wealthy, business-minded, saving arms of Donald Trump. Why, The Donald was a CEO who knew how to run a business. Of course, the business that The Donald is running is a confidence game.....all image and no substance....but that didn't matter to desperately-seeking-daddy conservatives. Trump swore, and talked about how great he was, and how much money he had and was not embarrassed to talk Birther talk or lie on cue......just like a drunk authoritarian daddy would do after staggering home to lay the law down to his family.

But alas....The Donald never really had any interest in the low-paying job of the presidency....his wonderful self belonged on teevee, just like Sarah.

And so it came to pass, with Sarah and The Donald ruled out as corporate media's darling daddy-to-be-GOP-president.....that a new retreaded daddy figure was unveiled. The Newton. Newt Gingrich. The corporate media anchors were instantly struck with those tingly feelings running down their legs again. If anyone was a real authoritarian, someone who could knock the hell out of our Dark Knight with his "new ideas" just had to be the Newton.

Or not.

Someone failed to inform Gingrich that the GOP's latest rising young star daddy is a guy by the name of Paul Ryan. Ryan is the real deal. The Wisconsin GOP representative, as any strong and firm authoritarian daddy would do, has proposed gutting Medicare coverage for the greedy geezers so he can redistribute the savings to our nations finest and most deserving citizens....millionaires and billionaires. That's a daddy the GOP can believe in.

Perhaps it is the rust falling off the Newton's wheels.....whatever.....Gingrich, an authoritarian daddy figure in his own right, called Ryan's Roadmap to Ruin "radical"....."social engineering from the right." Big mistake. Immediately, crusty and Very Serious authoritarians like Charles Krauthammer declared Gingrich's run to become the GOP's new daddy....over.

So we await the next GOP winger to pop up in the GOP's Whack-a-Winger presidential candidate game brought to you live each night on Serious and Professional corporate teevee media. Will it be Little Mitch Daniels of the authoritarians-at-war-against-poor-women Republicans, defunder of those evil cancer screeners at Planned Parenthood? Or maybe the ultimate daddy figure.....the rotund and belligerent New Jersey failure who's not afraid to speak harshly to the children-voters he believes he represents..... Chris Christie? How long before there is a "Draft Daddy Christie" initiative?

Whomever it can be sure that corporate media will be all over the new sensation like white on rice....because the one adjective that best describes our corporate "news" people is....Serious.



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