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The Grammys and CBS strive for a nipple-free telecast

By Malcolm Abram Published: February 7, 2013

Darn you Janet Jackson and Pink (who performed upside down and near naked in 2010).

This ought to make the red carpet less interesting.

Oh, sorry, a few days ago, CBS sent out a memo to all Grammy telecast attendees and performers detailing what they could and should not wear during Sunday nights show.

It's pretty funny.

My favorite is the use of "buttocks crack" and the placement of the term "problematic."

And please keep your nipples in check ladies, if one or both of those offending bodyparts that we ALL HAVE pop out on-air, it just may throw the earth off of its axis. ("Oh no! The planet is plunging into the sun and we're all gonna die! Damn you Taylor Swift! Your inadverdent nip-slip has doomed us all! DOOOOMED!)


Gee, and I was hoping The Black Keys would peform in speedos and moon boots...oh, well.

Check it out and watch the show to see who will flout the rules...

From the digital desk of CBS Program Practices:


Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST
Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory

-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-

***GRAMMYS 2013***

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.




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