Melissa Bamler was tired of living paycheck to paycheck. She was also sick of her finances going amok when unexpected things happened — like the two times in the last two years she's been hit by an uninsured motorist and had to scramble for her $500 deductible.

But she was also worried about living on a budget.

''After having lived buying what I want when I want, a budget is scary,'' Melissa said after her July session with Money Coach Carla Davis as part of the Beacon Journal's Reclaim the Dream money makeover series.

But Melissa was determined to get her finances under control.

The single mother of an 8-year-old son had just bought a house in Stow. She had been living in a 100-year-old house in North Akron that she co-owned with her father, Bill Bamler. The house has no mortgage, but $23,000 was owed on a home-equity line loan. She'd been looking for a newer home in Stow to be closer to her parents and for a safer neighborhood.

Of course, new, unknown and unexpected expenses and changes come with a new home.

Before the move, she regularly dipped into her small savings account to keep checks from bouncing.

For Melissa, however, the changes in her finances and life were going to be a large, family affair.

At the same time that Melissa was planning a move this summer, her brother, Rick, and his family were moving from Akron to Twinsburg to care for their 96-year-old grandfather. Melissa, who works nights as an obstetrical nurse at Summa's Akron City Hospital, traded child-care duties with Rick and his family. But with Rick taking care of their grandfather and moving farther away to Twinsburg, that arrangement wasn't going to work for timing and gas costs.

Her parents were going to take over a large portion of caring for her son.

Melissa, 34, knows she's fortunate to have a lot of support from her family, especially her parents.

She wouldn't have been able to afford the move to a newer house unless her parents had agreed to take over the bills of the North Hill house — they will pay the utilities and her home-equity line loan payments until the house sells. Once the house sells, the family will use the proceeds to pay off the home-equity loan and any excess can go toward the expenses of getting the new house in order, Bill Bamler said.

The family searched for two months before finding a home within Melissa's budget for $109,000 in Stow.

''It wouldn't have been smart if it was going to sink me,'' Melissa said.

Earlier this year, Bill and Melissa also sat down and worked up a plan on how to pay her bills from her bi-weekly paychecks.

''We called it a budget; it really wasn't. It was a plan for how to divvy up the money. We made sure that all of her bills got paid in time or early,'' Bill explained. ''There was never a time when she was near bankruptcy or anything like that. There was just a lot of stressing of, 'What payment can I put off until I get my paycheck?' ''

Melissa has no student loans, but does have about $8,500 in credit-card debt and an $8,000 auto loan, in addition to the home-equity line loan.

Bill said he encouraged Melissa to get the money makeover to make sure they were on the right track. As a parent, he said, he wants to advise her, but does not want to control her money.

Melissa jokes that she also believes her dad just wanted an independent, third person to tell her the same thing he was telling her. Bill attended the sessions with Melissa.

Food variables

As Money Coach Davis was trying to put together the budget, Melissa said there were many expenses that fluctuated frequently. Her grocery bill varied because she was rarely at her North Hill house.

''I spend a lot of time at my parents' and brother's house. When my brother needs food, I go buy it,'' she said. Bamler said her cupboards at home probably only had breakfast food, since she was usually living out of the car as she transports her son to various family houses.

Bamler also admitted that she relied on fast-food restaurants since she and her son were on the go so much and with her working nights.

When Davis added up Melissa's grocery expenses, they came to $306 for one month and $438 eating mostly at fast-food restaurants and an occasional sit-down restaurant.

Melissa knew what that meant.

''I could leave right now and you could say, 'Don't go out to eat' and that'd save a lot,'' Melissa said.

Melissa said she hoped that her move to Stow would reduce the amount of time she spent on gasoline. She also hoped once she and her son settled into their new home, they'd have a stabler routine and would be able to pack lunches for school and work, and cook meals at home.

But Melissa also said packing lunches for work was going to be difficult.

''When you work 12 hours, you have to eat at some point. That's always a given,'' she said. ''At the beginning of the year, I was really trying, working out and packing. But there's so much I'm trying to remember.

''I really foresee the lunch thing [for herself] not going well. Maybe I'll try to cut back. We all complain about how much it costs [She estimates it costs between $6 to $8 to eat in the hospital cafeteria]. I could go across the street and go to McDonald's and get it for $4. Of course, I'd have to leave the safety of the hospital at 2 o'clock in the morning and walk across the street.''

Melissa told Davis she'd try to pack more lunches for her son and quit eating out on nonwork days.

Factor in housing

Melissa and Bill Bamler acknowledge that the expenses of a new house are going to stretch and possibly invalidate Melissa's new budget, which was based on the old house expenses because they didn't have any bill estimates for the new house.

''My savings is going to dwindle to nothing.

''It's more of a holding account,'' Melissa said of her savings account, which gets $200 per pay. She also deposits $50 per pay into an account for her son, and doesn't touch it. She does not receive child support.

''But I want to stop touching [her savings account]. I know it's there and it's one of those things I need to stop counting on,'' she said.

Her new mortgage payment with taxes is about $300 more than her home-equity payments and taxes of $467, so she'll have to find that money somewhere. The easiest place to find that, said coach Davis, was in food expenses.

Updates

Melissa and her family have done a lot of work on her new house and she and her son are now living in it, but only one room has been set up with furniture. The rest will be moved soon.

The first house payment will be due Oct. 1, so that's when she will take over those bills and her dad will take over the North Hill house's payments.

She has yet to get all of her new bills, so she's still waiting to see how they will affect her budget.

She's been using the same amount of gasoline with all of the moving trips, but she has also made an effort to pack lunches for her son, eat out less and cook at home.

Bill Bamler said the money coaching experience has ''validated the direction we were going in.''

''We learned that she does have some disposable income, but a lot of it is going toward eating out. If she can cut that down, that will help,'' he said.

Bill said Melissa now understands how to budget, but there are more lessons he'd like to teach her.

''You need that three to six months' emergency fund,'' he told Melissa when she brought up expenses for car repairs or new school clothes.

Melissa agreed.

Bill and Melissa also have an ongoing ''debate'' about her income tax refunds. She uses her yearly income tax return of a few thousand dollars to put into her savings account.

Bill has been encouraging Melissa to change her payroll withholding so she'll get a smaller refund check and more in her paycheck. But Melissa said she knows that if the extra money comes in her paycheck, she'll just spend it.

''Put it into an account of your control,'' Bill said. ''Don't let the government be your banker. That's what I'm saying. I don't have a problem with getting $200, $300, $400 back, OK. But when you're getting thousands of dollars back, you're going about it the wrong way. That may be the only way you can save money, by letting the government do it for you. But you're not getting your interest and you're not controlling it.''

Melissa tells her dad that she understands his point and Bill says if that's the only way she can save, then it's better than not saving. But he believes there are better ways to do it.

''The other way is to give it to you every month and put it in an account,'' Melissa told her dad, laughing. ''Because then I'd have to say, 'Can I have money?' ''

But both Dad and daughter said they don't want to go about it that way.

''I'm trying to give her advice,'' he said. ''There's times she hasn't followed my advice and times she has.''

Added Melissa: ''What am I learning if he does it?''