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Hundreds of exchanges in month can add up to a serious problem
Published on Tuesday, Jul 08, 2008
Bill: When you told me your 13-year-old daughter text messages her friends even when they are sitting in the car next to her, I took that as just another fad for kids. I certainly did not think of it as maybe evidence of a new addiction.
Dr. Dave: But now comes this news story about Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick sending 14,000 text messages of love and lust to his chief of staff, Christine Beatty — the kind of compulsive behavior that may well bring down his administration. That beginning to change your mind?
Bill: What changed it was another news item, this time about Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons' ongoing divorce — 860 texts to his mistress in one month. Doesn't he know he's creating a paper trail for his wife's divorce lawyer?
Dr. Dave: Maybe that's why Gibbons gave her the 23-room governor's mansion and went back to their Reno home to live. Text messaging is certainly falling into the addiction category for more and more young people . . .
Bill: . . . who society needs worry about more than people like Mayor Kilpatrick and Gov. Gibbons. For instance, take this e-mail from ''Stanley.'' He says that his three teenagers seem to ''think texting is the same as face-to-face conversation. They type intimate messages that are shown to others, or just make stupid comments they would never say to a person's face. When I tell them to use the phone for that kind of personal, potentially explosive stuff, they thank me for my wisdom, swear never to make the same mistake again, and then two hours later, they're texting their girlfriend from the same cell phone they could be using to call her!''
So, Dave, let's talk to parents for a moment. What are the signs that your kid might becoming addicted to text messaging?
Dr. Dave: Pick up any medical textbook and turn to the definition of obsessive-compulsive disorder. You won't need a Ph.D. to see it describes the teenage cell-phone texting we've been talking about.
Bill: That's fine, Dave, but what are we going to tell Stanley about his kids? In fact, what do you tell your own daughter about her text messages? That if they text for over an hour a day, their thumb will fall off?
Dr. Dave: First off, text messaging and Internet addiction are both well on their way to being included in the next official listing of psychiatric disorders by the American Psychiatric Association. A major problem in helping our children is that the shame, denial and secrecy surrounding the compulsive behavior can be very strong.
Bill: And since I bet most parents are like me — ignorant about the world of texting — they are faced by a baffling, underground problem.
Dr. Dave: The place to begin is find a good teen counselor who understands not just how to get behind the kids' denial, but also how to teach them communication skills that are more effective than the shorthand of text messages.
Bill: Your idea is not to punish kids by withholding their cell phone but rather to teach them that direct communication can be more fun?
Dr. Dave: Bill, maybe you never had kids of your own, but we will make a child therapist of you yet. Reinforcing behavior you want is easier than punishing the behavior you don't. However, the parent and child do need to monitor their text messaging and reward the child for reduction in number of texts used. So you always need a text messaging account that will monitor how many messages are sent.
Dave Moore is a licensed psychologist and chemical dependency professional. Author Bill Manville hosts an addictions radio show. Addictions & Answers will appear occasionally in the Tuesday Health section and every week on Ohio.com.
Bill: When you told me your 13-year-old daughter text messages her friends even when they are sitting in the car next to her, I took that as just another fad for kids. I certainly did not think of it as maybe evidence of a new addiction.
Get the full article here.
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