Events Calendar
In This Section
Hobo union picks Akron for national convention
'Docs Who Rock' delivers excitement
Cuyahoga Valley volunteer center to be dedicated
Tell us your ornament memories
Two remarkable people enter centennial spotlight
Holiday airfares near '08 rates, keep climbing
Older adults can take steps to prevent abuse by their relatives and hucksters
Most Read Stories
Unusual sports bar to be sold at auction
Motorcyclist killed, wife injured in Stark County crash
Family found dead in Ohio home
Man says he was punched, robbed by 3 people in parking lot
Man gets 3 years in prison for having sex with horse
Bank helps more save their homes
Kosar would be wrong call as GM
Brown still testing Cavs' lineup
Blogs:
Pets:
Cats are trainable — and that's not a punchline
The Heldenfiles:
Monday Notebook
Patrick McManamon:
Time for Kokinis, Browns to agree and part ways
Akron Zips:
Zips tip off tomorrow
Tribe Matters:
Indians announce spring dates
Cleveland Browns:
Mangini doesn't name a quarterback
Kent State Sports:
KSU Notes – November 9
Cleveland Cavaliers:
Gameblog: Cavs at Knicks
Buckeye Blogging:
Weekly ‘B’ Deck Report – New Mexico St.
Varsity Letters:
Football playoffs – anybody surprised?
All Da King's Men:
If It Looks Like Islamic Terrorism…
Blog of Mass Destruction:
Dems Message To Women: Don't Enjoy The Sex
Akron Law Café:
Abortion Analogies
See Jane Style:
Muffle Your Muffler
Car Chase:
Clock Tender- Extending the Life of Collector Car Clocks
Let's Talk Real Estate:
Rumors: Akron Starbucks Closing
Ohio Travels with Betty:
Jack is looking for a trip to Southern Ohio the week of November 16.
Sound Check:
The Black Keys to perform benefit concert at Musica on November 27
HRLite House:
Personal Rant – Why People Do Not Live in Northeast Ohio
Akron Gamer:
New 'Call of Duty' could set entertainment record
By John Rosemond
McClatchy-Tribune News Service
POSTED: 05:02 p.m. EDT, Sep 08, 2008
Q: We're having a discussion — somewhat of a debate, actually — in our church over when it's appropriate to allow children to sit with their parents during worship. What is your recommendation?
A: The folks in your church may be wasting their time and energy. This issue has nothing to do with age. A child should not be attending worship services (assuming they are not exuberant occasions) until he or she is able to sit reasonably still for an hour or more and pay reasonable attention.
Church is not where children should be disciplined. Rather, they should be disciplined before they come to church.
Q: My 7-year-old, Michelle, has a wonderful example in her 12-year-old sister, Emma. Emma is very helpful around the house. She even asks me if there's anything I need her to do. When I ask Michelle to do something, I get push-back. Is it too much to ask that she accept tasks cheerfully? My thought is that even if she doesn't feel eager, she should fake it. Am I expecting too much?
A: No, but you aren't going to be able to solve this problem within the status quo. Emma has obviously usurped all the responsibility in the family; therefore, Michelle feels she is entitled to be a slouch.
I would handle this by telling both kids, together, that because Emma has been so helpful for so long, she has earned a ''responsibility vacation'' for at least two weeks, maybe longer. During her older sister's hiatus, Michelle will do EVERYTHING, just as Emma did until Michelle came along, and she will continue to do EVERYTHING until she learns to do it with a reasonably good attitude (not cheerful, mind you, but without the current resistance). At that point, you will split household responsibilities 50/50 and put Emma back to work. In other words, Michelle will determine when Emma comes off holiday. I'll bet it will take only two weeks.
Great suggestions
Amanda, from Illinois, shares a great idea concerning night-time ''potty'' training. She writes: ''When my first daughter was daytime trained at 21 months, I took her diaper away completely, meaning she wet the bed at night. I've done this now with four kids, all day-trained before age 2. Two of them got it right away. One took a fairly long time, but I eventually figured out that she was cold, and warm jimmies fixed that. I'm on my fourth at the moment. In the last three days, she has peed the bed only twice between naps and nighttime. That's six trips to bed with only two accidents! You'd be surprised how one or two nights of sleeping in a puddle helps with self-control.''
Amanda's very helpful suggestion is consistent with two things I've been saying for years: first, the earlier daytime training takes place, the quicker nighttime training will occur. Second, a child learns not to wet the bed by wetting the bed. So, get those diapers off!
John Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at http://www.rosemond.com.
Q: We're having a discussion — somewhat of a debate, actually — in our church over when it's appropriate to allow children to sit with their parents during worship. What is your recommendation?
A: The folks in your church may be wasting their time and energy. This issue has nothing to do with age. A child should not be attending worship services (assuming they are not exuberant occasions) until he or she is able to sit reasonably still for an hour or more and pay reasonable attention.
Church is not where children should be disciplined. Rather, they should be disciplined before they come to church.
Q: My 7-year-old, Michelle, has a wonderful example in her 12-year-old sister, Emma. Emma is very helpful around the house. She even asks me if there's anything I need her to do. When I ask Michelle to do something, I get push-back. Is it too much to ask that she accept tasks cheerfully? My thought is that even if she doesn't feel eager, she should fake it. Am I expecting too much?
A: No, but you aren't going to be able to solve this problem within the status quo. Emma has obviously usurped all the responsibility in the family; therefore, Michelle feels she is entitled to be a slouch.
I would handle this by telling both kids, together, that because Emma has been so helpful for so long, she has earned a ''responsibility vacation'' for at least two weeks, maybe longer. During her older sister's hiatus, Michelle will do EVERYTHING, just as Emma did until Michelle came along, and she will continue to do EVERYTHING until she learns to do it with a reasonably good attitude (not cheerful, mind you, but without the current resistance). At that point, you will split household responsibilities 50/50 and put Emma back to work. In other words, Michelle will determine when Emma comes off holiday. I'll bet it will take only two weeks.
Great suggestions
Amanda, from Illinois, shares a great idea concerning night-time ''potty'' training. She writes: ''When my first daughter was daytime trained at 21 months, I took her diaper away completely, meaning she wet the bed at night. I've done this now with four kids, all day-trained before age 2. Two of them got it right away. One took a fairly long time, but I eventually figured out that she was cold, and warm jimmies fixed that. I'm on my fourth at the moment. In the last three days, she has peed the bed only twice between naps and nighttime. That's six trips to bed with only two accidents! You'd be surprised how one or two nights of sleeping in a puddle helps with self-control.''
Amanda's very helpful suggestion is consistent with two things I've been saying for years: first, the earlier daytime training takes place, the quicker nighttime training will occur. Second, a child learns not to wet the bed by wetting the bed. So, get those diapers off!
John Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at http://www.rosemond.com.
Comments
Click here to post your comments
