DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, ‘‘Stella,’’ for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella’s divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.
I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.
Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn’t gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I’m getting resentful. It’s not the money (I’ve got plenty), but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent free. Our communication isn’t the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate? — Don’t Want To Be A Sugar Daddy
Dear Sugar Daddy: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, ‘‘The best defense is a strong offense’’?
If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, ‘‘When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It’s been a year, and you haven’t even looked for a job.’’ Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.
Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant’s rights that will have to be respected. It doesn’t take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her — so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.