Crane spent nine months conducting private polls of 1,144 unmarried men — ages 17 to 46 — on their likes and dislikes about their girlfriends and fiancees.
Apparently, men preferred good-figured women who blushed easily, knew how to cook and laughed at their boyfriends' jokes. Males were less enamored with ''good-time Gerties'' who wore heavy perfume, red nail polish and bizarre hats.
In formulating ''The Test for Your Girlfriend,'' Crane wanted men to be certain of their mates to avoid adding to ''the appalling divorce rate,'' which in 1940 was two divorces per 1,000 people.
''Love is a matter of habit,'' he wrote. ''If you are keeping company with a woman at present, then employ these tests before you become so enmeshed you can't think clearly. If your sweetheart rates very low, you may try to correct her or else look for better prospects.''
If anything, the survey offers a glimpse of romance during that innocent spring before the United States entered World War II.
Ready for the quiz? To compute results, add up the number of ''Demerits'' that apply to your sweetheart, and subtract that figure from the total number of ''Merits'' that apply. Here is how to score — so to speak:
0-29 = Very poor.
30-47 = Poor.
48-69 = Average.
70-88 = Superior.
89 and up = Very superior.
Some of Crane's advice still holds true after 70 years while some of it is completely outdated and totally sexist. We'll let you decide which is which.
Good luck.
DEMERITS
• Wears bright red nail polish. (1)
• Seams in her hose are often crooked. (1)
• Is very suspicious and jealous. (5)
• Flirts with other men at parties or in restaurants, etc. (5)
• Talks too much about her other boyfriends, or the shows and places to which they have taken her. (1)
• Uses profanity. (5)
• Smokes or gambles. (5)
• Uses alcohol or dope. (10) If ever drunk. (20)
• Tells risque or vulgar stories. (5)
• Corrects boyfriend's speech or actions in public. (5)
• Apologetic regarding her parents. Seems ashamed to have boy meet them. (1)
• Applies makeup in public. (1)
• Permits too many sex liberties. Too easy. A ''good-time Gertie.'' (10)
• More than 15 pounds overweight. (1)
• Comes from divorced parents. (1)
• A wallflower. Excessively timid or shy. (1)
• Speaks poor English or uses an excessive amount of slang. (1)
• Catty and unsportsmanlike. Too free with gossip and unpleasant remarks about people. (5)
• Bites her fingernails. (1)
• Confides too freely in others. Tells private affairs to her girlfriends. (1)
• Fussy about her food at a restaurant. Makes trouble for the waitress. (1)
• Talks during a movie, play or concert. (1)
• Has poor table manners. Gargles her soup, eats with her fingers, picks her teeth, etc. (1)
• Is a ''peacock personality'' or show-off type. Always plays to the galleries. A grandstander. (1)
• Chews gum too much, as during dancing, church, at parties, etc. (1)
• Uses ''Oh, yeah?'' or ''I'll never tell'' and other stop-gaps for lack of conversational ability. (1).
• Has no mind of her own. A perfect slave of fashion. (1)
• Extravagant. Cannot live within her salary, budget or allowance. (5)
• Too superstitious. Believes in luck, fortunetellers, etc. (5)
• Snobbish and affected in speech or actions. Tries to ''high-hat'' people. (5)
• Makes boyfriend feel she is condescending or doing him a favor by granting him a date. (1)
• Has a ''spoiled child'' temperament or is an ''only'' child. (10)
• Will not explain or talk things over at a quarrel. Simply pouts or sulks. (5)
• Has body odor, halitosis, dandruff, dirty fingernails, etc. (1 point for each)
• A ''projector.'' Blames others for her own faults. Refuses to face facts or admit her errors. (5)
• Too serious-minded and bookish. Tries to show off her superior ability, talents or education. (1)
• Flashy in dress. Wears too much jewelry, racetrack plaids, red shoes, bizarre hats, backless gowns, etc. (1)
• Artificial in appearance owing to mascara, bleached or dyed hair and excessively plucked eyebrows. (5)
• Uses too much makeup or is careless in applying rouge or lipstick so she looks streaked. (1)
• Too quiet and reserved. Will not let her boyfriend know how she feels or what she likes. (5)
• The nagging or scolding type. Gets into frequent quarrels. (1)
• Has strong prejudice regarding race, religion, politics, etc. (1)
MERITS
• Is fond of flowers. (1)
• Can carry on an interesting conversation. (1)
• Has a good sense of humor. Jolly and gay. (1)
• Religious. Has high ideals and takes active part in church work. (10)
• A good hostess. Makes people feel welcome and comfortable. (1)
• Wears her clothes well and dresses to fit her figure and personality. (1)
• Praises boyfriend in public. (1).
• Has spunk. Will defend her ideals and religion. (1)
• A good cook. Knows the culinary arts. (5)
• Writes interesting and jolly letters. Has originality and cleverness. (1)
• Considerate of boyfriend's pocketbook. (1)
• Healthy and athletic. Likes outdoors. (5)
• Has same religion as that of her boyfriend. (5)
• Loves children and a home. (10)
• Good seamstress. Can make her own clothes. (1)
• Is dainty and feminine. Doesn't adopt mannish clothes or customs. (5)
• Helps boyfriend with his work or lessons, and encourages him to advance. (1)
• Considerate and tactful with people, including boy's parents and his former friends. (5)
• Interested in cultural things, as art and music, good books. (1)
• Honest and faithful. Is true to her steady boyfriend or fiance. (10)
• Adaptable. Can be serious or jolly and frivolous as time and occasion demand. (1)
• Has musical ability. Can sing or play some musical instrument. (1)
• Always gives her escort the impression she is having a good time, so he feels well repaid for his efforts. (1)
• Is usually a ''cheerleader'' instead of a ''wet blanket'' regarding her boyfriend's ideas and ambitions. (1)
• Retains a wholesome enthusiasm for life instead of acting bored and cynical. (1)
• Has many friends of both sexes, and enjoys being with people. (1)
• Knows how to swim, or play golf, tennis, badminton, etc. (1 point for each)
• Likes the same kind of movies, music, plays or other entertainment as her boyfriend. (1)
• Has pretty white teeth. Uses a toothbrush. (1)
• Uses mild perfume suited to her personality. Doesn't try to drown ''B.O.'' in strong perfume. (1)
• Occasionally invites him to her home or apartment for dinner. (1)
• Can take shorthand or operate a typewriter by the touch system. (1)
• Sympathetic and tender-hearted. Tries to help the unfortunate, whether a wounded bird or tenement baby. (1)
• Even-tempered and has good self-control. Doesn't fly off the handle easily. (5)
• Comes from a good family, honest and industrious. Parents are gracious and democratic. (1)
• Prompt for appointments. Rarely is late. (1)
• Laughs at her boyfriend's jokes and clowning, or pays rapt attention to his speech. (1)
• Has a good figure, including shapely legs and bust, and erect carriage; not stoop-shouldered. (5)
• Will blush in an embarrassing situation, or shed tears when confronted by pathos, or unusual happiness. (1)
• Comments frequently about her boyfriend's masculinity and physical strength, his broad shoulders, strong muscles, etc. (5)
• Has social accomplishments, such as playing bridge, dancing, declaiming, leading group games, etc. (1)
• Has similar home and educational background to that of her boyfriend. (1)
CONCLUSION
Now you know the score, Beacon Journal readers. How did your sweetheart do? For best results, pretend it's May 1941.
Mark J. Price is a Beacon Journal copy editor. He can be reached at 330-996-3850 or send email to mjprice@thebeaconjournal.com.
