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Do IT this week: Layering
By Colette M. Jenkins
Beacon Journal staff writer
POSTED: 10:08 p.m. EST, Nov 14, 2009
Michael Woll has always dreamed of having a traditional Jewish wedding at Beth El Congregation, the synagogue where he grew up in West Akron.
Instead, Woll found himself exchanging vows with his soulmate in August in front of a justice of the peace in Massachusetts. While the ceremony served the purpose of uniting the couple in marriage, something was missing.
''We wanted more than a ceremony,'' said Woll, 32. ''We wanted something religious, something cultural that we could have memories of.''
Michael and his partner, Gregory Orenstein, 45, got that wish on Saturday during their commitment ceremony at Beth El.
The ceremony was the first same-sex union ever conducted at the Conservative synagogue.
It was also the first commitment ceremony ever officiated by Rabbi Stephen Grundfast since the Rabbinical Assembly said it is acceptable for its clerics to conduct the ceremonies. The international association of Conservative rabbis on Dec. 6, 2006, gave its clergy, synagogues and institutions the freedom to perform or host the ceremonies and to hire openly gay rabbis and cantors.
The decision by the assembly, which was praised by some and criticized by others, came after years of deliberation and with a reminder that Conservative rabbis and congregations are to welcome all Jews, regardless of sexual orientation. Grundfast said the discussions by the assembly played an important role in the way he views gays and lesbians.
''I would say it's been an evolution for me, personally. Sometimes we distance ourselves from people who we see as different,'' Grundfast said. ''Through my experiences, including the discussions, I have learned that people aren't different. We're all the same.''
Grundfast said that according to Jewish law, marriage is between a man and a woman. The commitment ceremony, he said, is a way for same-sex couples to express their bond in a Jewish framework.
''Michael and Gregory asked me if I would conduct the ceremony and as their rabbi and rabbi of the synagogue, I said I would,'' Grundfast said, ''We include everybody in the life of the synagogue and we treat everyone the same. I am happy to do for them what I would do for others.''
The ceremony included some of the same traditions as a Jewish wedding.
Before the ceremony, the ketubah (a written document that is often referred to as the Jewish marriage contract) was signed by Woll, Orenstein and two witnesses. The contract design includes a depiction of two interconnecting rings to represent the mutual respect between the two partners; the wholeness achieved through their union; and their hope for an unbroken bond and lifetime commitment.
The processional included the two partners' siblings and their spouses. Woll's kippah (head covering) was made with his grandmother's freshwater pearls.
The chuppah, or canopy, that the two grooms stood under during the ceremony was made by Woll's mother, Janice. In Jewish tradition, it symbolizes the home the couple will build together.
The canopy was made from one of Woll's grandmother's tablecloths and adorned with antique handkerchiefs and photos of grandparents, parents and siblings on their wedding days. Orenstein and Woll's photo will be added and the chuppah will be passed down to the next Woll family member to be married.
The ceremony ended with the traditional breaking of the glass and the shouting of ''Mazel Tov!'' (congratulations). The couple's reception was at the Akron Art Museum, where Woll's mother is a docent.
''Michael is the sweetest, kindest, most generous person that anyone could know and he is rooted in his Jewish tradition,'' said Janice Woll. ''He is the last of my three children to get married and my wish has been to give all of them what they wanted in a ceremony. I am so happy that he's gotten nothing less than the traditional Jewish ceremony and that he has found someone who loves him and is going to be good to him.''
Orenstein, a native New Yorker, admits he is not as observant as his partner. But he said that the conversations leading up to the ceremony and the ceremony itself have changed the way he looks at his faith.
''Being a gay couple and being able to have a Jewish ceremony has made me feel better about our Jewish faith,'' Orenstein said. ''It has made us want to become part of a Jewish community where we live.''
Woll, who is the wardrobe supervisor for the soap opera All My Children, and Orenstein, an interior designer and owner of GWO Designs in New York City, met on the online dating site Match.com. They said that although their wedding date is Aug. 12, they will always celebrate their anniversary on Nov. 14.
''The ceremony at Beth El has fulfilled my dream,'' Woll said. ''It is the ceremony that will always mean the most to us.''
Colette Jenkins can be reached at 330-996-3731 or cjenkins@thebeaconjournal.com. NoCom
Michael Woll has always dreamed of having a traditional Jewish wedding at Beth El Congregation, the synagogue where he grew up in West Akron.
Instead, Woll found himself exchanging vows with his soulmate in August in front of a justice of the peace in Massachusetts. While the ceremony served the purpose of uniting the couple in marriage, something was missing.
''We wanted more than a ceremony,'' said Woll, 32. ''We wanted something religious, something cultural that we could have memories of.''
Michael and his partner, Gregory Orenstein, 45, got that wish on Saturday during their commitment ceremony at Beth El.
The ceremony was the first same-sex union ever conducted at the Conservative synagogue.
It was also the first commitment ceremony ever officiated by Rabbi Stephen Grundfast since the Rabbinical Assembly said it is acceptable for its clerics to conduct the ceremonies. The international association of Conservative rabbis on Dec. 6, 2006, gave its clergy, synagogues and institutions the freedom to perform or host the ceremonies and to hire openly gay rabbis and cantors.
The decision by the assembly, which was praised by some and criticized by others, came after years of deliberation and with a reminder that Conservative rabbis and congregations are to welcome all Jews, regardless of sexual orientation. Grundfast said the discussions by the assembly played an important role in the way he views gays and lesbians.
''I would say it's been an evolution for me, personally. Sometimes we distance ourselves from people who we see as different,'' Grundfast said. ''Through my experiences, including the discussions, I have learned that people aren't different. We're all the same.''
Grundfast said that according to Jewish law, marriage is between a man and a woman. The commitment ceremony, he said, is a way for same-sex couples to express their bond in a Jewish framework.
''Michael and Gregory asked me if I would conduct the ceremony and as their rabbi and rabbi of the synagogue, I said I would,'' Grundfast said, ''We include everybody in the life of the synagogue and we treat everyone the same. I am happy to do for them what I would do for others.''
The ceremony included some of the same traditions as a Jewish wedding.
Before the ceremony, the ketubah (a written document that is often referred to as the Jewish marriage contract) was signed by Woll, Orenstein and two witnesses. The contract design includes a depiction of two interconnecting rings to represent the mutual respect between the two partners; the wholeness achieved through their union; and their hope for an unbroken bond and lifetime commitment.
The processional included the two partners' siblings and their spouses. Woll's kippah (head covering) was made with his grandmother's freshwater pearls.
The chuppah, or canopy, that the two grooms stood under during the ceremony was made by Woll's mother, Janice. In Jewish tradition, it symbolizes the home the couple will build together.
The canopy was made from one of Woll's grandmother's tablecloths and adorned with antique handkerchiefs and photos of grandparents, parents and siblings on their wedding days. Orenstein and Woll's photo will be added and the chuppah will be passed down to the next Woll family member to be married.
The ceremony ended with the traditional breaking of the glass and the shouting of ''Mazel Tov!'' (congratulations). The couple's reception was at the Akron Art Museum, where Woll's mother is a docent.
''Michael is the sweetest, kindest, most generous person that anyone could know and he is rooted in his Jewish tradition,'' said Janice Woll. ''He is the last of my three children to get married and my wish has been to give all of them what they wanted in a ceremony. I am so happy that he's gotten nothing less than the traditional Jewish ceremony and that he has found someone who loves him and is going to be good to him.''
Orenstein, a native New Yorker, admits he is not as observant as his partner. But he said that the conversations leading up to the ceremony and the ceremony itself have changed the way he looks at his faith.
''Being a gay couple and being able to have a Jewish ceremony has made me feel better about our Jewish faith,'' Orenstein said. ''It has made us want to become part of a Jewish community where we live.''
Woll, who is the wardrobe supervisor for the soap opera All My Children, and Orenstein, an interior designer and owner of GWO Designs in New York City, met on the online dating site Match.com. They said that although their wedding date is Aug. 12, they will always celebrate their anniversary on Nov. 14.
''The ceremony at Beth El has fulfilled my dream,'' Woll said. ''It is the ceremony that will always mean the most to us.''
Colette Jenkins can be reached at 330-996-3731 or cjenkins@thebeaconjournal.com. NoCom
