Mike Pratt couldn't hazard a guess as to what course his life might have taken if his brother had not been beaten to death at the hands of five friends 20 years ago.

The gruesome homicide played out in a Hudson woods, where Roger ''Butch'' Pratt, 22, was lured to be killed. The horror of the premeditated thrill crime unfurled in a series of trials that began in 1990, said Pratt, 45, who is still single and has battled depression.

All five were convicted and sentenced to prison. One was released after serving his time. Two got out and were convicted again for subsequent offenses. Two others are still serving their sentences.

''Until last year, I felt like my life was on hold,'' Pratt said. ''I had to keep fighting the parole boards — it's been a constant fight — to keep them from being released. . . . Then it was, well, I don't have to go to the parole board. What am I going to do now?''

Pratt is enduring the nightmare that brought at least 200 other survivors of violence to the Atrium of the Ocasek Building Monday night for the Angel Tree Ceremony and Homicide Memorial Service. These crimes can keep people like Pratt in their grip indefinitely, said Robert Denton, executive director of the Victim Assistance Program, which initiated the ceremony 13 years ago.

Men and women, old and young dabbed their eyes with tissues and shared their feelings of loss, betrayal and helplessness. They placed white angel ornaments bearing the names of the lost on one of two trees. They brought photographs to post on a wall of remembrance.

''As bad as the other violent crimes are, this one, there's no way to put it back together,'' Denton said. Some survivors will define the rest of their lives in terms of it. ''It's the one crime that's different from others. . . . It takes longer to get over. . . . It needs an objective, positive means of expression. It's what people wrestle with on the outside.''

''I've driven here in snowstorms and blizzards,'' said Pratt, who lives in Warren. ''I've never missed one of these nights. Victim Assistance has been like a family to me. Bob Denton and his family have been very good friends all these years. I like to support others starting out in my footsteps.''

He has decided to loosen his grip on yesteryear and finally toss a rented storage unit full of newspapers he has collected about his brother's murder. The case was so sensational that he couldn't keep up with all the reading. It also inspired two made-for-TV movies, Whatever Happened to Bobby Earle and Murder in a College Town.

''Somebody has to stand with these people and let them know we care about their loss,'' said Akron Deputy Mayor Dave Liebreth. ''This is an opportunity to be with others who share their loss.''