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Committee deems 1,574 requests for personalized tags as taboo in past two years alone
By Bob Dyer
Beacon Journal staff writer
Published on Friday, Feb 13, 2009
They meet every morning in downtown Columbus. Fifteen of them, ranging from clerks to bigwigs. They're as young as 25 and as old as 60.
That diverse collection of folks is charged with coming to a daily consensus — and doing it by 10 a.m.
Meet the Special Plates Review Committee, a group of state employees that decides what you can and can't put on your license plate.
You ask, they decide. And a lot of times, they don't like what you ask.
During the past two years alone, the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles has turned down 1,574 different requests for customized plates.
You know the kind of plates we're talking about. Stuff like SCRMOM or CATLOVR or BUCKSFN instead of the random collection of numbers and letters you get right off the shelf.
The BMV calls them ''personalized'' plates. The rest of us call them ''vanity'' plates. By either name, their owners must pony up an extra $35 — not just once, but every year the plates are used.
Ohio's tags are required to have at least four, but not more than seven, letters and/or numbers. But that still permits ample opportunity for some amazingly creative stuff.
Expressing creativity
As you know, creativity can take many forms. If it were up to some Ohio drivers, they would use their license plates to express their loathing for someone or something (IH8MYX) . . . or confess to recreational drug habits (2TOKE) . . . or share with the motoring world their fondness for a particular type of carnal activity (nah — I'd never get that into the paper).
In other words, I defy you to read through the list of banned plates and keep a straight face. If you want to try, head to our Web site, where we've posted all 1,574 plates that have been nixed since the end of 2006. It's at http://ohio.com/news/plates.html
Some of the rejections are no-brainers. The F-word, in all its glorious combinations, variations, permutations and amalgamations, could fill a couple of phone-book pages all by itself.
Similarly, a horde of people wanted to tell us who or what ''sucks'' — everything from Michigan to SUVs to work to the Florida Gators to the cold. Forget it. The BMV has decreed that nothing shall suck.
Other drivers would sentence people or entire groups to a permanent home in what the Greeks referred to as Hades. Can we all agree that's probably not the best sentiment to express within easy view of youthful eyes?
But some of the rejected combinations seem awfully mild — TUSH, for instance, or DEEPDO or IGOTGAS.
And some of the rejections are incomprehensible. RX4FUN was a no-go. You mean I can't proclaim that my car is my prescription for fun? Or that my classic Mazda RX7 doesn't bring a big smile to my face?
And is there something wrong with being a NEATFRK, other than running the risk of clashing with a sloppy roommate?
Following guidelines
The BMV says there's a method to its madness. It says it bars plates that:
• '' . . . are profane, obscene, sexually explicit or scatological.''
• '' . . . could reasonably be expected to provoke a violent response from viewers without additional comment.''
• '' . . . advocate lawlessness.''
Now, does the BMV really believe the plate UEEDIOT would foment physical confrontations in the streets?
Some plates from the Land of the Banned seem inappropriate only in certain contexts. If you're driving a Hummer H2, for instance, who could object to a plate that reads HMMRR? If the plate belonged to a teenage boy driving a sub-compact beater, well, we're probably looking at a different meaning.
Similarly, on a classic 1946 Ford station wagon, WOODY12 might be a perfectly fine plate. But to the folks in Columbus, apparently, it's a state of arousal.
After a while, the whole thing seems a bit like a Rorschach test. When I looked at ''USUK05,'' my initial thought was ''United States, United Kingdom'' and the number five. On a different day, I might have seen ''you suck'' and the number five.
Or how about FBLUOSU? Could be ''football — love you OSU.'' On the other hand, it could also be ''f--- Blue — OSU.''
The plate police look at this stuff from every conceivable angle. They check different languages (hence the demise ofBITEMOI). They run the combinations through Internet dictionaries of urban slang.
Which is probably wise. In some circles, a ''basshead'' is not an avid fisherman but a crack fiend.
''Rice'' can be used as a derogatory term for a modified Japanese import car. You'll get no rice from the BMV.
Even the once-benign term ''tea bag'' now has sexual connotations.
The BMV claims it doesn't err on the side of prudism.
''We err on the side of balance between freedom of speech and limiting profanity, offensiveness or phrases that could incite lawlessness,'' says Lindsey Bohrer, a spokeswoman for the Ohio Department of Public Safety.
Others have accused the bureau of criminal stodginess. In fact, the big review panel is the result of a consent agreement between the BMV and the American Civil Liberties Union.
Rejected motorists
Based on figures supplied by the BMV, the rejection rate is about 2 percent.
Some rejections don't involve taste. Certain placements of zeros and the letter ''O'' are forbidden simply because they could create confusion in the law-enforcement community as to which is which.
But most of the turndowns involve the BMV assuming the worst. The panel concluded, for example, that MORHED7 was not a bow to Morehead State University's class of 2007.
And that SHGWAGN had nothing to do with REO Speedwagon and everything to do with a British term for something else.
And that the guy who wanted SUPRBLS was not necessarily a football fan.
Rejected motorists do have an appeal process. They can write directly to the state registrar within 30 days. But if he turns thumbs down, it's ballgame.
The BMV said it could not supply figures on how many rejections are appealed or how many appeals succeed.
But we do know this: There's absolutely no truth to the rumor that Michael Phelps is the driver who is appealing the rejection ofLKABONG.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.
They meet every morning in downtown Columbus. Fifteen of them, ranging from clerks to bigwigs. They're as young as 25 and as old as 60.
Get the full article here.
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