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Documentary, which will air in Akron, aims to help the abused move on
By Colette M. Jenkins
Beacon Journal religion writer
Published on Saturday, May 16, 2009
The childhood secrets of beatings, humiliation, sexual abuse and spiritual abuse that cast emotional ripples through decades of depression, addictions and broken marriages are central to a documentary that will premiere in Ohio at 7 p.m. next Saturday at Goss Memorial Church, 2247 11th St. SW in Akron.
''Our intention is not to place blame or be angry or bash the church. Our hope is that by telling our story, it will help other people,'' said Dianne Darr Couts, one of the children of missionaries who were boarded in the 1950s and 1960s at a parochial school in West Africa and endured abuses at the hands of the evangelical missionaries who operated it.
The 70-minute film, All God's Children: The Ultimate Sacrifice, gives voice to those who experienced or witnessed rapes, beatings with the buckle-end of belts that left children bloody, and the humiliation of wetting or soiling their clothes because missionaries running the school would not permit them to use the bathroom.
''The first- and second-grade teacher was one of the worst. She would pick up kids by their ears and upend desks, throwing kids on the floor,'' said Couts, 61. ''The kids were berated, called stupid and brutalized. The teachers were harsh and cruel.''
The Darrs — Couts and her three brothers, David, John and Richard — are among three families in the film who tell their personal stories of abuse. The children attended a parochial boarding school for missionary kids whose parents were stationed in remote outposts throughout West Africa. Their parents, the late Dick and Anne Darr, were sent out from Goss Memorial (where Couts' husband, Bud, is now pastor) to the mission field in Africa in the 1950s.
The Darrs grew up in Akron and lived in the Kenmore area. Their missionary work also was supported by The Chapel, Northampton Baptist Church, Community Church of Portage Lakes and other local churches and individuals.
The couple, and other missionary parents, said they had no idea that they were putting their children in harm's way when they left them in the hands of colleagues at the Mamou Alliance Academy in Guinea. The boarding school was run by the Colorado Springs-based evangelical Christian and Missionary Alliance.
''Our parents wept when they found out what happened there and they were very supportive of us,'' said Couts, of Akron. ''It was devastating for our mom and dad.''
Repressed trauma
The Darrs, like other missionary parents, discovered the pain endured by their children when, as adults, Mamou alumni began uncovering repressed trauma. The first reports of abuse at Mamou were made to the alliance in the late 1980s.
The church, however, didn't act until David Darr, of Columbus, his siblings and other alumni staged a public protest at an annual meeting of the denomination in 1995 in Pittsburgh. The alliance appointed a commission to investigate the allegations of abuse at Mamou.
The commission reported horrific acts of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. It documented that the first- and second-grade teacher from 1958 to 1966 engaged in an ''ongoing reign of terror and sadistic behavior.'' Seven former staff members and two former students who were found to have physically, sexually or psychologically abused children were asked to undergo counseling.
Among the substantiated allegations were students being beaten until they were black and blue and bloody, being sexually molested and being forced to eat their own vomit. The commission's report was the first of its kind regarding child abuse in evangelical circles. The alliance issued an apology to the victims and their parents.
''Until you get the story out, you can't begin the healing. This had a terrible impact on my life,'' said Darr, 59. ''Our parents were fulfilling their call and serving God, but it messed us up. I didn't choose to be a missionary. Nobody ever asked the question of what being yanked away from our parents was doing to us.
''They say our parents sacrificed not being with us. Hell, no! We were the sacrifice. Saving lost souls does not justify sending your kids off to be molested or brutalized.''
Darr, now a church pianist, said his experience at Mamou put him in a love-hate relationship with the church.
No love or comfort
''They punished us for not being perfect. They kept us in line with fear, telling us if you're not right with God, you're going to hell,'' Darr said. ''This was supposed to be the church. But there was no love. There was never any comfort. It was always about toeing the line.''
While some of the Mamou alumni have turned away from the church, Darr said his faith in God helps move him past his bitterness.
''Many of the lyrics in hymns bring me comfort,'' Darr said. ''One of those hymns is Great Is Thy Faithfulness. I do believe that God is faithful. It's people who aren't always faithful.''
More than 200 children of missionaries from the Missionary Alliance, Gospel Missionary Union and other missionary organizations throughout West Africa attended Mamou from 1950 to 1971, when it closed. The Darrs were part of the Gospel Missionary Union.
Among the abused children were cousins of Scott Solary, the producer/director of All God's Children. Solary and his wife, Luci Westphal, completed the project together. Their goals for making the film include helping silenced victims speak out and encouraging religious institutions and organizations to provide compassion and justice for victims.
''This film is not about 'why' but 'how to go on from here.' We're hoping people will find it easier to open up so they can begin the healing process,'' said Westphal, of Brooklyn. ''We're hoping to raise awareness for people who have children, as well, so they will be more careful in making sure they put them in safe hands.''
The film premiered last year at the Sarasota Film Festival. Public screenings began this week in Florida. The Akron showing is the first in Ohio. Screenings also are scheduled in Columbus and at Minerva High School, where Couts teaches French. Couts, Darr, Westphal and Solary are to be at the Akron screening.
''I've never been one who was afraid to tell the truth,'' Couts said. ''We are survivors and we just want the church to be the church. We have been hurt and the job of the church is to love us, to care for us and to show compassion.''
Colette Jenkins can be reached at 330-996-3731 or cjenkins@thebeaconjournal.com.
The childhood secrets of beatings, humiliation, sexual abuse and spiritual abuse that cast emotional ripples through decades of depression, addictions and broken marriages are central to a documentary that will premiere in Ohio at 7 p.m. next Saturday at Goss Memorial Church, 2247 11th St. SW in Akron.
Get the full article here.
Comments
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Tallmadge, OH
Posted 08:03 AM, 05/16/2009
I went to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church as a child. Even then I wondered what justification these parents used to put their children at risk of disease and injury and, in many cases, abdicate their personal responsibility to raise them. What a nightmare for the children who stayed in this boarding school!
akron, oh
Posted 08:12 AM, 05/16/2009
''They punished us for not being perfect. They kept us in line with fear, telling us if you're not right with God, you're going to hell,'' Darr said. ''This was supposed to be the church. But there was no love. There was never any comfort. It was always about toeing the line.
Sounds exactly like most baptist churches Ive been to. Threy wonder why so many people do not want anything to do with organised religion...
Walnut Creek, Oh
Posted 09:31 AM, 05/16/2009
Too bad alot of so called christian churches are this way. When I used to go to church, I sacrificed my family time by not staying at the campground on weekends, cause the 'church' needed me to run sound, and it was a big mistake. Yeah we need to be christians and live the right way and go to church, but when church runs our life, and the family suffers,,forget it. There are too many people who think just because you call yourself a christian, that you aren't capable of doing wrong. I know missionary families, and while we do need missionaries, I wonder if it is really worth it to sacrifice the family for going into the field.The church will make you feel guilty for not doing certain things. Just because of what I went through, I don't go to church. I know I should, but I don't
Akron, Oh
Posted 11:25 AM, 05/16/2009
what a shame,children have to go though this kind of stuff.Even more from somewhere that's to be save.
But..not all Christian's are like this.And to use this as a way of getting out of going to a Church is Lame.Just come out a say that "You" have made the Decision to not go.Stop blaming the Church/God for your own Choice's.
Tallmadge, OH
Posted 11:56 AM, 05/16/2009
"Getting out of going to church." Interesting way to put it. Sounds like doing the dishes.
Walnut Creek, Oh
Posted 12:34 PM, 05/16/2009
I don't blame God. If you have ever been involved in any sort of way, worship team, nursery, or any 0ther sort of in church ministry, the leadership in most cases expects way too much out of you. To sacrifice family time, like being made to feel guilty cause I wasn't there, (and most churches make you feel that way)....I don't need it. It is not the reason to go in the first place. When I do go back to church, I will never be involved in any sort of ministry again.
Posted 02:52 PM, 05/16/2009
''They punished us for not being perfect. They kept us in line with fear, telling us if you're not right with God, you're going to hell,'' Darr said. ''This was supposed to be the church. But there was no love. There was never any comfort. It was always about toeing the line.
This is so sad, but it also sounds like my very catholic childhood. Makes for a perfect atmosphere for adults to manipulate,control,intimidate, to sexually, mentally, and physically abuse innocent kids.
A child's life is NOT suppose to be that way!
I urge anyone to get educated and please attend at least one of these screenings of the amazing documentary.
Judy Jones, SNAP Director Southeastern Ohio
http://www.steubenvilletruth.org/
Posted 03:01 PM, 05/16/2009
switch to the Church of the Holy Donut...
Akron, OH
Posted 04:10 PM, 05/16/2009
It's disgusting when church leaders and missionaries teach the idea that abandoning your own children, to "save" others in a distant country or even in their own city, is "what God wants". Parents' mission field is at home, first.
Too many fall into the trap of being PIOUS by being a missionary or church ministry leader, neglecting their own spouse and children in the process.
But sadly, many churches--major ones too--reward public piety and "righteousness" while the family's own kids are exposed to neglect and abuse, raising themselves.
Kinda like the pious abortion-clinic protesters who would never, ever consider adopting a child.
Posted 05:56 PM, 05/16/2009
I feel for this woman, my own mother was wicked like that.
Portage Lakes, OH
Posted 06:52 PM, 05/16/2009
Ah abuse in the name of God. How sad and how typical. I am surprised at how many people suffer this sort of abuse and yet still believe in God. I suppose their need for comfort overcomes their need for logic.
These folks are brave and I'm happy they are speaking out. As for the perpetrators, they are the ones who have to live with the guilt. Unfortunately, many feel they are right to dole this sort of abuse because it's what they believe is godly.
I will be at the Akron screening supporting these survivors.
Minooka, IL
Posted 07:56 PM, 05/16/2009
It is important to note that all four Darr children, of whom I am one, had continuous memories of the abuses suffered at Mamou Alliance Academy. Our memories were neither "repressed" nor "recovered." Tremendous pressure was applied by adult perpetrators at Mamou Alliance Academy on the children boarded there to not share any of the abuse with our parents lest their work for the Lord be compromised and "souls lost." It wasn't until we were in our late 30's and 40's that we were able to begin to share our continuous memories with professional therapists and our parents. Reluctance on the part of victims to share childhood abuse with parents has many reasons, shame at what happened being one reason. Another is the fact that we knew how very painful this would be (and was) for our parents once we did begin to share. This was true for many, many other victims of abuse at Mamou as well.
It's also important to note that the Independent Commission of Inquiry allowed no "recovered" memories to be used to support the conclusions of its professional inquiry. Only continous memories were allowed. Over 80 individuals reported to the Commission of Inquiry. Rev. Dr. Richard Darr, Chicago, Illinois.
Walnut Creek, Oh
Posted 11:55 PM, 05/16/2009
BELIEVEGOD::::::: I couldn't have said it better myself..
rootstown, oh
Posted 12:29 AM, 05/17/2009
religion has done an immense amount of damage.don't fall for this scam.
Barberton, OH
Posted 01:26 AM, 05/17/2009
EVERYONE has emotional and/or physical scars from their past. What separates the weak from the strong is how much we let that hold us back and how long we are going to blame a past event for your current life and future actions. It is completely understandable for a young person to not understand that they were abused and not be able to claim ownership of who they are and what they do but there is no excuse once you become an adult. YOU have the control to be who you want to be and grow from the wrong-doings of your childhood...choose not to let it hold you back! But if you choose to hide behind your past and blame that for your actions now, that's your choice but don't come to me (the public) wanting sympathy. For your life will be what you make it and if you want to play a victim go for it but don't show it publicly so the youth of today's society can see it and think that it's okay or expected to hide what is being done to them (especially for as long as you did). You are really putting out a bad message to all the people who are going through right now what you went through.
And please don't take the above as me blaming you for what happened to you because trust me I KNOW! You were not to blame and I am so sorry this has followed you for so long and so strongly. I wish you and everyone else who has endured pain from a coward adult all the strength in the world to grow from it because you can grow from it. Seeing people for what they are and are capable of is a lesson that too often comes at a hefty price.
Best Wishes
Barberton, OH
Posted 01:44 AM, 05/17/2009
I am sorry for my lengthy post above but it is something I feel very strong about. I just would like to add one thing: Please remove religion from this story. By us mentioning that while blaming the horrid sick actions on an individual it takes the focus off the specific person and that is not fair to the victim! For someone to feel 100% to blame for something, we need to address them not sum it up into a general field of religion. Religion is a method of control and if you don't see it that means you have not been exposed to the bad people that hide behind the "good guy badge" and just know you are not aware of that other side so please bite your tongue when making statements of which you haven't seen both sides.
akron, oh
Posted 09:04 AM, 05/17/2009
"Reluctance on the part of victims to share childhood abuse with parents has many reasons, shame at what happened being one reason. Another is the fact that we knew how very painful this would be (and was) for our parents once we did begin to share. This was true for many, many other victims of abuse at Mamou as well."
Sad that children have to hold these memories until they feel in a safe zone as adults to speak out. Theres nothing worse than being a child and having to survive in this way and to supress and stuff down all of the pain and memories. My Prayers to The Darr Family and all who have been victims of any kind of abuse of abuse.
Posted 12:51 PM, 05/18/2009
The sexual victimization of boys, and drug or alcohol abuse and suicide amongst its many victims is a difficult subject, but not a new one. Here in the Lower 48 there has been increasing awareness of this subject over some years now, and there are some resources available to survivors. Two well-written books on the subject authored by pioneering therapists were written almost 20 years ago. ABUSED BOYS was written by Dr. Mic Hunter out of St. Paul, MN, and VICTIMS NO LONGER was written by well known therapist Mike Lew. In addition there is a recognized survivor support site at: www.malesurvivor.org, which is run by survivors, for survivors.
Abuse at the hands of trusted clergy and at various religious schools is an offense that occurs with frightening frequency. Witness this article in the Anchorage Daily News, which includes the legal complaint made against another church school there.
Anchorage (AK) Daily News:
http://www.adn.com/opinion/comment/patko...ments_Container
Below link may be ***Triggering***. Content: Legal Documents.
http://media.adn.com/smedia/2009/01/14/18/complaint.source.prod_affiliate.7.pdf
There is hope through the recovery process. Together we can find our freedom.
Posted 05:07 PM, 06/07/2009
I also went to school with the Darrs. We are not asking for pity. For years those in authority denied anything happened. This film just shows what happened and is a warning to churches and families to be sure it doesn't happen to the children in their care.
The results of the abuse will be with us all our lives.
Zerodps wrote: "But if you choose to hide behind your past and blame that for your actions now, that's your choice but don't come to me (the public) wanting sympathy."
This experience has made many of us stronger. But this does not remove the blame from those who are offenders. Offenders must be held responsible for their actions. Offenders are usually repeaters of their actions they need to be exposed for what they are. Yes they can change but only if they take the steps needed see the web site http://speakingtruthinlove.org/default.aspx
that shows what offenders need to do.
